Episode 36: Choosing Your Partner (“What I’m Looking For”) Featuring Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

We are so happy to welcome Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife back to the podcast!

She is the perfect guest to bring on for our inner work month and today we are talking about how we deal with being dissatisfied in our marriages and how to CHOOSE our partner every day. And it doesn’t always look how we think it will!

Sometimes we think “choosing” our partner means we really don’t have a choice. But realizing we DO have a choice frees us from the chains of obligation (“I HAVE to be with my partner”) and brings us into freedom (“I CHOOSE to be with my partner”).

I LOVED this conversation, I took notes the whole time and I think you will too!

We’re giving some therapy to the song, “What I’m Looking For” and Rich’s re-written version shows that when we CHOOSE what we’re looking for, its much easier to find.

 

Rich’s re-written lyrics:

We have lived lots of places
We have run all these years
Only I’ve been with you
Only just me and you
Now we’ve come to where, I feel stalled
There is tension, there are walls
There are these walls
Between me and you

And I feel I’m not sure what I’m looking for
Now I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for

We’ve made mistakes, we both slip
So now we’re trying to come to grips
We’re older and tired
But we still have desire
So we spoke and explained feelings
How we’ve held onto our issues
And we talked through the night
And I felt seen and known

So I choose, and now I’m sure you’re what I’m looking for
Now I’m sure, once again, you’re- what I’m looking for

I believe I could make it alone
But we’re both better when together as one
Becoming one
And the future’s still coming
I’m choosing you
And you choose me
It’s not dependence but totally free
Totally free, you know I believe that

Since I choose, I have found what I’m looking for
It was you, and I’m sure you’re what I’m looking  

Episode 35: Issues (“Issues”)

Oh the issues we take with the song “Issues” by Julia Michaels! “I’ve got issues, but you’ve got em too. Give yours all to me and I’ll give mine to you.” Uh-oh. Someone forgot to study relationship truth 101: it is not your partner’s job to solve your personal issues and it is not your job to solve your partner’s. This lesson is only forgotten every day in most relationships, so our friend Julia is in good company. Thankfully, Rich is here to make some much needed improvements to this song! Join us as we discuss the inner work necessary… Read More

Episode 34: Inner Work Good Ones

Introducing our theme for the next 4 podcasts: Inner work! Celeste’s favorite topic! This episode is another installment of our “good ones” series where instead of poo-pooing on love songs, we celebrate ones that give good advice and postulate on why. “I Love Me” by Meghan Trainor (Celeste’s pick) and “Symphony” by Clean Bandit (Rich’s pick) are given the honors today, and come to think of it, compliment each other very well. Add a Comment

Episode 33: Theory Class 103 (Systemizing Fun)

Wrapping up our month-long theme on fun, we are talking about how to systemize fun 1. in our individual lives, 2.  in our marriages and 3. with our families. Celeste theorizes and advises while Rich creates music lyrics and then performs his masterpiece at the end of the episode. And bonus! The Davis children each have a part in this episode talking about their favorite family fun activities!   Add a Comment

Episode 32: Fun Languages (“Santa Baby”)

How do we have fun as a couple when we don’t agree on what is fun?? Enter learning to speak each other’s fun language. What is a fun language? It’s like love languages, but it’s all about fun. We all have fun in different ways in different stages, the key is to keep the conversation with our spouse open and frequent. In this episode, we offer some therapy to the song “Santa Baby” (it could kinda use some, amiright?) and Rich makes a version that is MUCH improved and hilarious!   Add a Comment