The Hummingbird, The Woodcock and Me

Yesterday I was lounging on our brown leather couch reading. I looked up at my kids who were likewise lounging and reading. I found myself half-heartedly saying, “Let’s clean up this room.” The living room wasn’t all that messy. It wasn’t even really bothering me. I just feel like I should make my kids clean more. In fact, I live with a low-grade constant hum in the back of my mind that says, “Your kids should be working harder.” It’s annoying, this buzzing. Like a gnat that won’t stop fluttering around my ear. Here’s the thing though, messes don’t bother… Read More

I Finally Read Eat, Pray, Love. I Remembered My Desires Matter.

Around 2010, I sat on my friend’s worn plaid couch discussing the book Eat, Pray Love during one of our monthly book club gatherings. We hadn’t read Eat, Pray Love (I fear there may have been blood spilled if we had), but it had come up and my, my, my did people have things to say about it. “Oh so, if we’re upset with our spouse we should just get divorced and ‘live our dream.’” “I just feel sorry for all those women who think they have to take a year traveling the world in order to be happy and… Read More

Staying At Home With My Kids for Six Weeks: A Story about Boundaries

For the first few weeks of the coronavirus outbreak, I was cool as a cucumber. I was keeping up with the news, while still regulating my own anxiety and becoming educated on the best course of action for the greatest good. I wasn’t in favor of freaking out and hoarding or dismissing the whole thing as overreaction. I was the epitome of zen, a calm little lotus flower floating peacefully among the chaos, serenely reminding those around me that preparation and social distancing is prudent and panicking isn’t helping. Then the governor of Washington decreed my children would be home… Read More

Episode 40: The Why and How of Boundaries Featuring Kirk Voss

Celeste and Rich have been explaining boundaries this month a lot like how they *make* boundaries in real life: doing their best, but could definitely use the help of an expert! Therapist Kirk Voss (of the EmotionAlly podcast) is on hand to talk more about boundaries. There is a discussion of the theory behind boundary setting, the emotion that can (but not necessarily should!) drive the way we make them, and practical applications of when and how boundaries should play a part in expressing your needs. This interview is divided up into two episodes:   Show Notes Kirk’s website Kirk’s… Read More

Episode 37: Blame (“Your Fault”)

Ah the blame game. So unproductive and yet so common. So much time wasted stuck in resentment. Yet, how do we get out of this trap? How to avoid the blame game all together? Well, that takes some inner work my friends! Getting to that magical mixture of acceptance AND boundaries. In this episode, we give some therapy to the song, “Your Fault” from the musical “Into the Woods. And Rich’s re-write is seriously his best work yet! Rich’s lyrics: “But it isn’t my fault, my partner’s a jerk Of the two of us I’m the one who’s done the… Read More