Why Are You Married? (A Helpful Mindset For When You Forget)

Yesterday I was cooking with my kids. As my daughter spilled milk all over the table and the floor (and did in fact, cry over it), and my son flung hamburger meat all over the counter while “stirring” it for me, I paused and thought, “Why am I doing this? This would be easier without them.” Upon reflection, I remembered that I want my kids to love cooking. I want my kids to eat dinner and helping with cooking helps (or at least that’s what people keep telling me . . .). I want my kids to eventually be able… Read More

Are You Focusing on Your Spouse’s Attributes or Flaws? (how to flip the switch)

My marriage has undoubtedly improved since starting this blog. In so, so many ways. I can remember living and reacting from a place of fear before where now I have peace. Peace gives room for love. I’m coming closer and closer to loving Rich unconditionally - I can definitely feel that shift. I’ve been trying to break down exactly WHAT has changed or what mindsets have helped me the most. Certainly, I have had countless light-bulb moments while reading, researching, writing and thinking about marriage. But what is it exactly that created the shift from conditional love to unconditional love?… Read More

How to Help Your Addicted Spouse

A few weeks ago I received an email from a reader asking if he could write a guest post for my site for spouses married to an addict. Having battled an opiate addiction himself, he’s out to help other couples on the journey he and his wife have gone through. He co-created RecoveryHelp to help people with substance abuse and their families. I’m so grateful he reached out to me and have happily posted his article below. Thanks Caleb!   How to Help Your Addicted Spouse Intimate relationships shared with our loved ones ought to be safe havens-places to seek… Read More

Become Your Ideal Self Today (and Become Your Ideal Spouse in the Process)

Imagine you’ve died (sorry to be the one to break the news, but it will happen to each of us eventually). You’re at your own funeral. You’re listening to your own eulogy. What is being said? What is remembered of you? Who did you help? What are your greatest accomplishments? What were you proudest of? This month, we’re talking all about how to develop a clear sense of self. What that means and why its important (to you and your marriage) How creating the right value system can get you there. How meditation and affirmations can get you there. Today… Read More

Want to Improve Your Marriage? Try Meditation: A LOVE EXPERIMENT

Breathe. I am worthy of love and belonging. Breathe. I am imperfect and that’s ok. Breathe. I am enough. Ahhh, don’t you feel better after reading that? I do. That’s why I like to start my day this way- a few minutes of meditation and some affirmations. This month in the laboratory, we’re talking all about how to develop a clear sense of self. The last two weeks we discussed mostly how to get your mind and values in the right place. But this week, I wanted to provide you with a takeaway that is more actionable. That’s right folks,… Read More