Month: October 2018

Why “Being Happy” is a Pretty Costly Life Goal (and three better alternatives)

What percentage of the time are you happy? 30%? 80%? Now, what percentage of the time do you think you SHOULD be happy? via GIPHY Up until fairly recently, I thought the happy to unhappy ratio in my life should be about 90/10. I thought I should be happy about 90% of the time. (I never actually quantified this, but unconsciously I assumed I should be happy the vast majority of the time). But recently I read something that sounds maybe obvious but sort of blew my mind. It said that we can expect to experience positive emotion about 50% of… Read More

Episode 8: Trust (“Every Breath You Take”) Featuring Aimee Heffernan Show Notes

The song “Every Breath You Take” by The Police was a classic slow song favorite at every middle school and high school dance I attended. My friends even had it as their wedding song. But have you actually paid attention to the lyrics? “Every step you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.” Creeeeeeeper. Even Sting admitted it was a creepy song about surveillance, but the song sounds so nice and romantic you don’t think about it. Well, that’s why we’re here! (you’re welcome) We are talking all about trust in this week’s episode (the guy in the… Read More

Episode 7: Over Accommodating (“Back for Good”) Show Notes

Being a jerkface in your marriage is a clear no-no, but how about being overly accommodating? Slightly less so, however, if done with regularity, consistent OVER accommodation becomes a problem, namely we don’t own up to our desires and often become resentful. This week, we give therapy to the song “Back for Good” by Take That as we discuss the “I’ll do anything for you” mentality. As always, Rich sings his version of this song into more healthy (slightly less desperate) waters. Enjoy!   Here are Rich’s much improved lyrics: I guess, now it’s time. For bringing this up, Thing… Read More

Episode 6: Empathy and Friendship (“Stand by You” “You’re My Best Friend”) Show Notes

Guess what? Not all love songs have bad advice! (I know, shocking!) In effort to praise songs with good advice (and in an attempt to not be the world’s greatest kill joys), we present our first episode called “The Good Ones.” We separately selected songs they thought had great relationship advice and then present them on the show. I chose “Stand by You” by Rachel Platten (not to be confused with “I’ll Stand By You” . . . you’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head now) because I think it offers a great example of what empathy is… Read More

Growth Means Getting Comfortable with Discomfort. Here’s How.

About five years ago, I set a goal that was so far out of my comfort zone, I had NO idea whether or not I could actually accomplish it: to run a half marathon. Guys, I am NOT athletic. I never have been. I discovered this early on in elementary school when we would play Sneaky Pete where you have a scarf tucked into the back of your pants and everyone runs around trying to grab each other’s scarves and the last man standing wins. I would try to get out early every single time because I just couldn’t run… Read More