I think the key was just expressing my feelings without coming up with ways HE needed to change.
Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is just how important it is to me to feel heard. It was surprising to me that once I expressed all my fears about a delicate issue to Rich, I didn’t even really need the issue to be solved at all. It was enough for me just to FEEL HEARD.
Immediately, that week I felt so much closer to Rich, just having him understand me.
And like all marriage issues, the law of reciprocity comes into play here: in order to feel heard you need to HEAR. Without judgment.
If you have an issue in your marriage you’d like your partner to understand, try having a hard talk, with lots of love. Express how you feel, without nagging and without looking for solutions. Let us know how it goes 🙂