This post is part 2 of the series: Improving Intimacy
It made me sad to read comment after comment like this- treating her like she was being irresponsible. Rich and I waited until we were married to have sex. We both were raised in a religion and culture where that was expected of us (which makes me all the more impressed with Katie who made the decision when no one would have thought less of her for choosing otherwise). And we’ve NEVER, EVER regretted that decision in the slightest. In fact, it has blessed our marriage and our sex lives in ways that would otherwise be impossible.
Sheila Gregoire in her book 31 Days to Better Sex (which we will be reviewing later on in this series) says, “Here’s the problem with so many of us having sex before we’re committed for life: it makes sex all about the physical, and negates the spiritual and emotional connection.” Our culture is losing out big time on the spiritual and emotional benefits of sex.
The target audience for this post isn’t my typical target audience of married people (who have already made this decision one way or the other), but for any out there who are wondering, like Katie was, if it is possible to not have sex before marriage and if it is worth the great sacrifice it would take. We’re here to say it’s TOTALLY possible and TOTALLY worth it! The biggest sacrifices bring the biggest pay offs. – Celeste
We dated for three years, got engaged our senior year, and were married a year later. It was not easy, but with a lot of self-control we were able to wait until our wedding night to have sex.
- It is definitely the best gift you can give your spouse – by sharing sex with each other for the first time we were able to give of ourselves entirely.
- We didn’t worry about judgements the other would make as this was a new experience for both of us and we didn’t have any previous experiences to compare to.
- We were able to measure our compatibility on communication and values and make that the foundation of our relationship without being clouded by a sexual bond.
- We didn’t have any emotional or sexual baggage from previous intimate relationships.
- There was a new and exciting change from engaged life to married life.
- I didn’t have to take birth control or worry about getting pregnant or STD’s.
- Our relationship was based on giving, not on receiving sexual satisfaction.
- We were able to live without guilt of disobeying our religious beliefs and individually and jointly grew in our relationship with God.