Service Love Language Challenge!

Introducing our love experiment for the month- asking your spouse what you can do for them every week and doing every favor asked of you.

Alright, it is November and that means its time to introduce our Marriage Laboratory Experiment of the Month (MLEM if you like- you can remember it because it sounds like phlem)!

This year all our experiments are based on Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages book and November will be all about . .. . . .


service love language
Rich knows all about service.

Guys, this is our last love language experiment!  Our fifth one. Can you believe it?

I think this month, the service theme was the most difficult for me to come up with a solid love experiment for.

The reason I wanted to make sure I included doing every favor asked of you (whenever that favor happens to be asked) is because I always feel like I ask Rich to do a million things for me but he rarely asks me to do much for him.

The trouble is, when he does ask for things, I often view them as so small and inconsequential that I forget to do them (or honestly I occasionally “forget” to do them if I’m feeling rebellious).

These favors he asks seem like such little things to me, but left undone, I eventually come to see that they were actually big deals to him.

Examples include:

  • Being on time to church and other events (it took YEARS of him requesting this of me to wake me up and take it seriously because to me being late is just a part of life and no big deal- I’m the worst I know- its an on-going struggle)
  • Pushing the break down all the way before I switch from reverse to forward in the car 🙂
  • Regularly buying napkins (I am of the opinion that paper towels serve the same purpose, but napkins make Rich’s life better, so now I buy napkins).
  • Not washing his dress shirts with the rest of the laundry.
  • When we have sweets in the house, saving half for him (this might be the one I’m the worst at . . . poor deprived Rich).

These always seem like such small requests, that I often neglect them. But when I remember, I can tell he feels loved and heard.

So, this month- I do them all!  And any other he comes up with.

If you participate in this challenge, hopefully your spouse won’t abuse the favor privilege, but if they do, just do your best 🙂  I’ll be providing some service rah-rah posts this month to buoy you up if you need some motivation 🙂


Here’s the experiment explained scientific method style:


  • We get so busy in our own schedules and problems that we forget our spouse has their own schedules and problems.
  • We have a tendency to focus on what our spouse can/should do for us rather than what we can do for them.
  • We can easily forget that marriage thrives on selfless service.


  • Ask your spouse how you can serve them each week.
  • Do every favor asked of you.


  • Compassion.
  • Love.
  • Time and thought.


  • Our spouses’ love tanks will be fuller as they feel more understood, loved and appreciated.
  • We will feel more fondly toward them as we look for ways to make their lives better.

Raise your hand if you are in!!

 via Photobucket


If you want to join along in our experiment, join our email list (scroll down- there’s an opt-in in the footer) and I’ll be sending out how its going for us as well as helpful reminders!

Or I would love it if you joined in the experiment and let us know how its going on our Facebook page!

Happy experimenting!

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