Fight the New Drug

By Celeste

You know how sometimes on this blog I do week-long series on things couples struggle with?  Like infertility or faith transitions?  And I get people who have first hand experience with this topic to guest post all week?  You know?  That thing?  I’m doing that thing again this week.

This week’s topic is . . . . . . . . pornography addiction.

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Porn kills love. Yes it does. It says so right on our T-shirts.
Photo cred:  Emily Britt
This is a topic I feel very strongly about actually.  It completely freaks me out that many (most?) people in the world don’t see pornography as a problem at all.

My first paid writing job (and when I say first, I mean only) was in college working for a company called cp80 – an internet channel initiative meant to offer people better protection against unwanted internet pornography.  I wrote articles (like some here) about how pornography affects the family.

Anyway, this job was very eye-opening to me.  I learned lots of stats and became very convinced that pornography is an unbelievably common problem in marriages.  It is brought up repeatedly in divorce cases. In fact, in a recent study, 62% of divorce attorneys cited “obsession with porn” as a significant factor in the divorce cases they handle.  (Do NOT buy into the myth that watching porn together can improve your sex life.  It will do WAY more harm than good)

When I used to tell my friends back home that I was working for a porn-fighting company, I would expect them to say something like, “Right on! That’s important!”  But without fail their responses were generally either blank curious stares as if to say, “Why?” Or just “Good luck with that.”

So, it feels like a breath of fresh air when I come across websites like Fight The New Drug.  I am ALL about this website.  I think they’re doing a great job of fighting the good fight and targeting the fight to the generation that needs it most.

I liked them so much, I up and bought their T-shirts and made my husband pose with me like a couple of youths.

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Youths I tell you.
Photo cred:  Emily Britt
In case you are still on the fence, here are just a few reasons you should care about the insanely rapid spread of pornography:

  • Porn sites receive more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined.
  • The child porn industry alone is a $3 billion industry.
  • In a 2008 study, 90% of men expressed viewing pornography as an acceptable behavior
  • After men are exposed to pornography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any.  They were also found being more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual performance and affection.  Read more here
  • Porn ruins your libido, your spouse’s self-esteem, your brain and your family.

I could go on and on and on (really you should just follow and support the people at Fight the New Drug, to whom I owe those stats).

Alright, so now that we know pornography IS a problem, what should we do if it rears it’s ugly head in our marriage?  Don’t despair!!  There is hope!!!  This week, I’ve reached out to a few people who have excellent blogs spreading this message of hope for pornography addicts and their spouses, and they’ve thankfully agreed to guest post and provide hope and tools for us all on how to deal with this problem in a marriage.  Stay with us!

One thought on “Fight the New Drug

  1. So glad you’re addressing this difficult subject. It’s definitely something that needs to be addressed way more openly, and you’re helping fight “the fight” with these great posts. I’ve known people close to me who are dealing with this in their marriages. Unfortunately I’ve heard way more stories that have led to divorce than stories of couples fighting it together. It’s important to bring to light that it can be done. What examples of courage! Thanks for sharing, Celeste!

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