I first encountered the Color Code personality test in high school at a church camp. After we each took the test, we made little felt people in our color and made them into necklaces to wear all week in an attempt to get to know each other and serve each other better.
Sometimes I wish everyone I meet would wear these little colored necklaces so I would better be able to tell what their strengths, limitations and most importantly, motivations are.
Understanding each other’s personalities and motivations help any relationship, but especially a marriage! Megan Christensen is here today to discuss how the color code test has improved her marriage. Thanks Megan!
There are a myriad of resources out there to help improve your marriage, but there is one I personally really believe in. Not only can it help improve your marriage, it can actually help improve any relationship you engage in.
It can also help you understand yourself better and work to improve so you can become the person you want to be. The tool I’m referring to is popular personality test, the Color Code .
Improving your marriage through a personality test may sound hokey, but trust me, it’s anything but. Taking the test is just the first part. Once you identify your own personality color, you can start learning about all the colors and what their motives, strengths, limitations, needs and wants are.
This will help you understand yourself better and the reasons behind your behavior and it’ll also help you understand the same of everyone in your life — most importantly, your spouse.
How the Color Code Test Can Strengthen Your Marriage
For example, I am a Blue personality.
I know that my Driving Core Motive, or my innate motive in life, is intimacy. This means in order for me to feel happy and fulfilled, it’s essential for me to make deep connections with others in life. I’m happiest when fostering close relationships with friends and family.
My husband, on the other hand, is a Yellow personality.
His motive in life is fun. This means a lot of our conversations are infiltrated with how much he wants to go on another cruise.
It may sound insignificant now, but understanding each other’s motives is essential to our understanding of each other in general.
My husband and I recently moved to a new neighborhood and therefore have been invited to a couple social gatherings to meet new people. I really wanted to go to the first one we were invited to because I wanted to make friends with those around us. However, it didn’t sound like the most fun thing to do to my husband.
So we stayed home. In turn, my husband accompanied me to the next one, which also didn’t sound super fun to him, but he knew it was important for me to develop these relationships with our neighbors.
Both of those situations were a great compromise!
In addition to Blue and Yellow personalities, there are Red and White personalities. The Red motive in life is power. Reds are typically the power-house leaders among us.
The White motive in life is peace. Whites are the calm, serene peacemakers in our friend groups and families.
Each personality type comes with natural strengths and limitations and needs and wants.
Now that you know more about each of the colors, let’s talk about how this knowledge can help you in your marriage!
Understanding Your Spouse’s Strengths
First, the strengths.
We can all hopefully identify strengths in our spouses, but learning about the natural strengths that come with each personality color may help you understand how personality-specific your spouse’s strengths are. Although you may have recognized the strengths before, now you have specific names for them and can notice them more.
Maybe your Red spouse is decisive and it combats your indecisiveness as a White. Now that you can truly recognize their strength for what it is, you can appreciate it and promote that strength in them.
Next time the two of you are moving into a new place and you can’t decide which carpet you like best, you know they can make the decision! That’s not to say you should ignore your own limitation of being indecisive as a White, but it can help you recognize how your spouse balances you so that you can appreciate their personality more.
Understanding Your Spouse’s Limitations
Even recognizing your spouse’s limitations can help your marriage. If you’re married to a Yellow who interrupts you, it may help to identify that as a natural limitation for them, so you can recognize it’s not something they’re necessarily doing on purpose, it’s a limitation that is natural for them and may be hard to overcome. In turn, you can (kindly) make them aware of this limitation so they know to work on it.
Each personalities’ needs and wants are also extremely important to know in marriage. For example, the White personality needs to be accepted. By recognizing this as their spouse, you can love them better by accepting them for who they are and allowing them to feel they can be completely themselves around you.
If you’re married to a Blue, know that quality is very important to them, so if they are taking an extraordinarily long time decorating your home, it’s only because it’s very important to them.
As you can see, it’s really important to understand our spouses so we can best learn how to love and be patient with them. I’m sure we’d also all feel better if we knew our spouses were trying to better understand and love us.
Megan Christensen graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho in 2014 with a Bachelor’s degree in communication. She previously worked as the head writer for KSL.com and is now the digital content manager for the Color Code. Her core color is Blue, but she is almost just as White.