What Do You Want to Believe About Your Spouse? (Yes, You Get to Choose)

There is a person in my life with some psychological issues. I mean, we all have psychological issues, but for this person, her issues often render her incapacitated, unable to complete even the simplest of tasks. I have spent a good deal of time trying to siphon out what of this behavior is her illness and what is just her personality. If her incapacities are just her personality- that makes me much less enthusiastic about helping her. I feel taken advantage of. I feel like she should do more for herself and rely less on others. But then when I… Read More

Why Are You Married? (A Helpful Mindset For When You Forget)

Yesterday I was cooking with my kids. As my daughter spilled milk all over the table and the floor (and did in fact, cry over it), and my son flung hamburger meat all over the counter while “stirring” it for me, I paused and thought, “Why am I doing this? This would be easier without them.” Upon reflection, I remembered that I want my kids to love cooking. I want my kids to eat dinner and helping with cooking helps (or at least that’s what people keep telling me . . .). I want my kids to eventually be able… Read More

Are You Focusing on Your Spouse’s Attributes or Flaws? (how to flip the switch)

My marriage has undoubtedly improved since starting this blog. In so, so many ways. I can remember living and reacting from a place of fear before where now I have peace. Peace gives room for love. I’m coming closer and closer to loving Rich unconditionally – I can definitely feel that shift. I’ve been trying to break down exactly WHAT has changed or what mindsets have helped me the most. Certainly, I have had countless light-bulb moments while reading, researching, writing and thinking about marriage. But what is it exactly that created the shift from conditional love to unconditional love?… Read More

Saving a Marriage From Divorce

Can a marriage be saved from the brink of divorce? What would that even look like? I’ve collected stories and advice for couples hoping to save their marriage from divorce. When someone signs up for my email list, they get a little welcome email which asks them to respond back stating something they are currently struggling with in their marriage. I get quite a few of these emails each week. At first I was surprised to find how many of these emails expressed marriages in dire straights- on the brink of divorce, dealing with things like infidelity, addiction, abuse, etc.… Read More

Do I Need My Anger?

Recently it was my choice to pick our monthly book for my book club. I chose Loving What Is. Shocker I know. Not everyone loved it, which is totally fine because truth be told,  I don’t love the writing style and I find the tone a little pandering. BUT the ideas in it are golden. Golden I tell you! I can’t tell you how much this book has helped me (I mean, I’ve tried . . . and tried). But anyway, in our conversation during this book club, several people took issue with the book because wouldn’t loving what is… Read More