42 Love Letter Prompts

The best collection of love letter prompts on the web. 42 love letter prompts to be exact.

I mentioned in my last post Four Ways To Emotionally Connect With Your Spouse While You’re Apart that Rich is currently in Brazil and we are apart for the month. While we’re away for extended periods of time like this, Rich came up with the great idea to write each other love letters.

Since we find ourselves writing quite a few of these, we ran out of love letter prompts fairly quickly and were unsatisfied with the love letter ideas we found online (C’mon Google- I thought we were beyond this. Can’t you solve ALL my problems yet??).

So, we figured we’d help old Google out and throw some of our tried and true love letter prompts out into the interwebs. Rich is the creative writer type and I’m the nostalgic sap type, so you’ll find a little of both in the prompts.

Last year after we did this for two months our marriage was stronger than ever! Even after being apart that long. In fact, when we came back to the humdrum of everyday life and busy schedules, we were both feeling a bit empty in comparison to the daily soul-bearing we had grown accustomed to while we were apart.

On one such day, I thought, “Man, I miss the love letters!” Then thought, “Wait a minute, I still have email don’t I?” So I up and wrote Rich a love letter while he was at work. I know! My life is oozing spontaneity. And it was a great way to remind each other that we like each other.

So, if you find yourself away from your spouse for a while, or you just need to vamp up your love tanks, I HIGHLY recommend emailing each other love letters. Or if you want to print them out and give the love letters to your partner as a gift, I’ve made a handy-dandy free printable for you with space to answer each prompt available at the bottom of this post.

These prompts make the perfect anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmas presents. Seriously, imagine their face after reading letters answering these questions.

And don’t worry, I’ll spare you the barf bag you would need from reading examples of our sap-infested, soul-bearing love letters. Though, I am tempted . . .

Love Letter Prompts | Perfect for Valentine's, birthdays and anniversaries. Click through to see them all.

42 tried and true love letter prompts:

Type out your earliest memories of each other.
Go back and re-send some of your earliest emails and texts or transcribe early notes and letters.
Word association. This one was our favorite. Open a book- the nearest one to you will work. Flip it open at random, close your eyes and point to a word on the page. Write down the word and a random memory or thought you have with or about your spouse associated with that word.**** (example at the bottom of this post) Pick another one if it’s a lame word like “and, but, the, it, in, etc”
If you had to make a marital bucket list what would be on it?
Provide a detailed description of how your spouse has made you a better person.
Write about a song that reminds you of your spouse when you hear it. Type out the lyrics.
Write about all the things you miss about having your spouse with you. Or if you’re together- what you have missed the most when you have been apart.
Describe various dream dates – a dream romantic date, fun date, expensive date, etc. (Rich did one where he described a dream laugh-so-hard-we-cry date with a few of our favorite comedians. We played board games with Amy Poehler and Kristin Wiig, went for some mini golf with Melissa McCarthy and Demitri Martin, dinner date with Mike Birbiglia and Tina Fey- we had ourselves a fantastic time with our imaginary best friends).
Write out your love story- blog post style (then consider emailing it to me so I can post it).
Ok, you know that part in Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks is describing his dead wife to the radio host and he laughs and describes the way she used to peel an orange in all one piece? If you were describing your spouse to a radio host (they can be alive in this scenario) like that, what would be that weird, quirky thing about them you’d describe?
Write out a quote from a book that reminds you of your spouse (Rich and I conveniently both read A Fault In Our Stars during this trip, so this was easy 😉
Explain why you love your spouse now and why you loved them at the beginning of your relationship. Any differences? Similarities?
Describe little moments in the day when you missed them/thought of them/were grateful for them that day.
Play two truths and a lie.
List a few times in your life you wish you would have had your spouse with you.
Describe what you’ll be doing (ideally) in two years, five years, ten years, twenty years.
Talk about your favorite scripture or inspirational quote that makes you think of your spouse.
Pitch a movie about your love story complete with tag line and description. Rich pitched “An Engagement With China” “Boot. Scooter. Boogie.” And “Snow Way!”
Write an acrostic poem for your names.
You have a time machine. Which points in your spouse’s life would you go back and visit- just as an observer? I was flattered reading some of the random moments of my early life I’ve described to Rich that he actually remembered 🙂
Talk about a favorite trip you took together.
Write about times or things in your relationship/marriage that were disappointing or awful and then how you got over them or learned from them. I actually found this one to be very strengthening.
Plan out real future date nights.
Reminisce about the first time you said, “I love you.”

We first said the L word somewhere around this point in our lives.

25.   Write about how your spouse has changed you since you’ve met them. Be specific.
26.   Talk about traits you think you’ve inherited from your parents and what traits your spouse has inherited from theirs. Their answers may surprise you 😉
27.   Write poems to each other. (note: Rich could have been a poet. Seriously. And I never knew until love letters . . .)
28.   Record all first impressions of each other you can remember.
29.   Top 10 lists (Rich did top 10 reasons Celeste is awesome at Valentine’s day). Other Top 10 lists could include: Top 10 favorite memories together, Top 10 moments I loved you most, Top 10 events I’m looking forward to spending with you this year.
30.   Post and talk about your favorite pictures of each other.
31.    Google newly wed questions and answer them for both you and your spouse. Have your spouse do the same. Compare answers.
32.   Write out your favorite things about your kids. Or, if you don’t have kids, what characteristics of your spouse you’d hope your hypothetical children would have.
33.   Write about the funniest memory you have together. Or that might be too hard to pick just one, so write about some times when you deep-belly laughed together.
34.   Tell your spouse something you honestly don’t think they know about you.
35.   Since you’ve been married, has your spouse challenged any preconceptions you had about life?
36.   If you had to commit a crime together, what would it be? Aliases encouraged.
37.   What about your spouse do you feel you know the least about?  What about yourself do you think your spouse knows the least about?
38.   If you could go back and give yourself advice about marriage when you were dating, what would you say?  What have you learned?
39.   Transform your story into a Disney-esque fairy tale. Start with once upon a time . . .
40.   What are the physical aspects of your spouse you find most attractive?
41.    What do you think they’re greatest strengths and talents are?
42.   Share a childhood memory you’ve never shared with them before.

Love letter prompts

Speaking of childhood memories . . . look at little Richard!! Isn’t he adorable? He can’t get mad at me, he’s not in the country. heh heh heh.

**** Ok, I know I promised I wouldn’t subject you to our love letters, but I just wanted to include two word association examples since they were our fave. The first is from Rich, the second from me.

“SLOW” When we started running . . . stop. Let me start over. When YOU started running, I know it made you self conscious sometimes (and maybe frustrated) that I went from zero to being able to run much faster than you were. And that when you were able to run without stopping, you were slow, or at least slower than you wanted to be. But babe, I love, love that you made that goal and stayed with it. Slow and steady (you) really did win that race over fast and unreliable (me), because you stuck with it and did it. – Rich
“DAD” Hmm. A lot of places this one could go – your dad, my dad. I think I’ll choose you becoming a dad. One of my favorite memories of you becoming a dad was when we were in the hospital with Ellia- like a day after I had her and she was being a little fussy (remember when we thought fussy meant a little newborn whimper?) Anyway, I guess I was in the shower or getting ready or something, but I came out to you rocking her and singing “Who Knows How Long I’ve Loved You” by The Beatles. It was so sweet! And then when we brought her home you used to sing to her a lot- even when she wasn’t fussy. I knew you’d be such a great dad even from the first few weeks of our first child’s birth. -Celeste

Are you now SO pumped to fill your partner with love? Let’s do it.

If you’d like for these prompts to magically appear in your email inbox all ready to fill out, then you’re in luck! Just put your email in that box down there and it will happen!

The printable looks like this (first page):

Want more reminders and helpful tips on how to love your spouse more fully?

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February 24, 2016February 24, 2016

How to Bring Out Your Spouse’s Best Side

To bring out our spouse’s best side, we should believe in them, let go and love unconditionally.

Sometimes when marriage is hard, it seems like it will never be good again. Sometimes when our spouse is in a bad mood it seems like they will never be in a good mood again. And when they’ve disappointed us or just aren’t shaping up to be the version of themselves we envisioned when we married them, sometimes its hard to see our spouses in the best light.

I think this happens to all of us at some time or another. Here are three ways that have helped me to bring out the best in my spouse.

1. Believe that the “best version” of your spouse really is in there.

Believing in our spouses is so important. Especially when we feel they aren’t doing much to deserve it. We have to believe that the best version of themselves is in them. They need us to have faith in them. WE need us to have faith in them. I think it helps to visualize in your mind the squeakiest, friendliest, most pure version of your spouse you can envision and to bring that image to mind frequently.

Note: this is not the version of your spouse that YOU wish they would become (including a laundry list of things you wish they would do), but rather the version that God intended. Imagining them as a child of God innately worthy of all the love God and we can pour out on them.

Sometimes I like to think of God and I pairing up to help Rich be the best Rich he can be. It helps me to visualize this version of Rich that I know is in there simply because he is a child of God.

2. Let Go

To allow them to be their best selves, we have to let go of trying to control them in any way. We have to realize we are not responsible for their progression. We have to let them be them and find a way to love them even when they are not living up to that “best version” of them that we imagine.

Ironically, learning to let go is what brings the most freedom. When we let things just BE instead of trying to create the end result we desire, we are better able to see our spouse’s merits.

Rachel May Strafford is the authority on this topic. “Letting go to grasp what really matters” is the tagline of her blog, Hands Free Mama. Here’s a quote from one of her articles, The Manager in My Home and The Five Words that Changed Everything.

“The way my husband took care of the children … tidied his area of the bedroom … chose outfits for going out … put away the groceries … and paid the bills were not wrong—just different than the way I did them. . . .How would you do it? I commonly asked these five words of surrender when the control freak inside me began to get agitated. As I watched the people in my life do it their way … in their own time … with their own flair, I saw sparks of joy I didn’t see before.

Over time, the manager nameplate peeled off my shirt, and I strived to be less of a dictator and more of a guiding, supportive, loving presence. I went to bed feeling lighter, freer, and happier knowing I did not have to be in control all the time.”

3. Love Unconditionally

Loving unconditionally goes hand in hand with letting go. To love unconditionally means simply to love without conditions; to put no ultimatums on our affection for our spouses. To not withhold our adoration when he doesn’t do the dishes, when she doesn’t initiate intimacy, when he doesn’t help with the kids or when she nags to much. To learn to talk openly about things that need to change and to love them despite these things.

God is the ultimate example of this. There is nothing we can do, no amount of mistakes committed to deserve God’s love less and no amount of good deeds will make us deserve it more. God’s love has no conditions whatsoever. He loves us all simply by being His children. That doesn’t mean there aren’t certain things He wants us to do and ways He wants us to act, but His love for us does not ride a roller coaster of our accomplishments or obedience. It is not conditional on our behavior or attitudes.

What if we loved our spouses a little more like this? To solve our problems when they needed to be solved, not shying away from honest feelings and communication, but to not let our love for our spouses be affected by their actions.

What if we stopped letting our affection for our spouses ride the ups and downs of our pride or disappointment in them?

I think learning how to love your spouse despite being disappointed in their actions is a valuable skill indeed. A God-like skill.

So if you want to bring out the best in your spouse this week, try believing in them, letting go of control and loving them without conditions.

July 9, 2015June 29, 2016

Breaking Down Barriers: The Power of Forgiveness in Marriage

By Celeste

I love self-help books. I love the feeling of empowerment I get when I read about how I can improve my life. Every now and then I’ll read a really good one that I can’t stop thinking about. Friends, I’ve come across such a book. It’s called Forgive For Love by Fred Luskin.

I’ve always believed in the power of forgiveness, but I guess I’ve always just thought about it from a religious perspective. For some reason hearing about it from a more academic perspective has been eye-opening for me. Fred Luskin is a professor at Stanford and has published countless articles on the power of forgiveness in people’s lives. People who forgive have better health, lower blood pressure, they are more productive at work, and report higher levels of life satisfaction.

But more than just convincing me forgiveness is important, Dr. Luskin’s book has given me the specific tools to become a forgiving person. In his book Forgive For Good, he outlines nine steps to forgiveness. His book Forgive For Love focuses just on forgiveness in relationships. One afternoon while getting stuff done around the house I spent about three hours listening to youtube clips of Dr. Luskin speaking at various events (start with his TED talk here). I felt like I had just done yoga for three hours (or at least that’s my understanding of people’s description of how yoga makes them feel . . . ). I felt so zen.

Friends, I’ve become convinced that being a forgiving person is the key to a happy marriage. It affects EVERYTHING. It is the key to being happy no matter what happens to you, no matter what other people (including your spouse) do to you. It is freedom.

I recently wrote a guest post on the most excellent blog Family, Good Things to Come about this very topic. Here’s an excerpt:

Last Thursday I had kind of a rough day with the kids. I was tired from staying up a little too late and the kids’ energy was just doing me in. It was one of those days when I was counting down the minutes to 5:45pm when my knight in shining armor would come rescue me and my sanity.

The only problem was when he came home from work, he was tired too. Funny how that works. So, instead of relieving me by coming home, playing a couple of rounds of UNO with the kids, making dinner, folding the laundry and feeding me grapes (as I wistfully imagined the scene playing out), he instead came home, got on the computer and relaxed.

I was miffed. I let my miffed-ness bleed into my interactions with him that night, into the next day and even the next (without telling him why of course), which then had the effect of spreading my grumps to him. We were off for a few days.

Now let me preface this by saying that I believe in forgiveness. I really do. I believe in its power. I believe that in just about every conceivable situation of hurt, forgiveness is the route that will bring the most peace. Why then is it so easy for me to see that if the people around me would just forgive their spouse/co-worker/mother-in-law they would be so much happier, and at the same time so easy for me to forget the principle entirely when I’m bothered by something?

Funny how that works.

Generally when I’m hurt or bothered by the actions of others and the idea of forgiveness crosses my mind, some other less-desirable part of my mind comes back with lots of “yes, but”s. I have a feeling most of my roadblocks to forgiveness are some of yours too, so let’s de-bunk them together shall we?

Yes, But What They Did Was Wrong!

Finish reading here.

June 15, 2015June 29, 2016

Wearing Your Marital Weight on Your Hips: Putting Your Marriage Efforts In All The Right Places

I recently purchased one of those baby carriers (for my now toddler baby) where you can wear them on your back and barely even feel them. It’s glorious. My one year old LOVES (read: demands) to be held, so this has been a great purchase. Without it, my arms and back can get quite sore. With it, I can carry him for way longer and expend way less energy.

Another example: before I learned how to swim correctly, I wasted A LOT of energy trying to do free style staying flat on my stomach and using mostly my arm strength for momentum. When I learned the correct form, I was able to go twice as fast while using WAY less energy by letting my hips be my power source – moving them from side to side to gain momentum with each stroke.

Sometimes I think we waste marital energy in all the wrong places. I think there are ways to expend less energy and time, while getting more bonding bang for our buck when we use our energy in the right places.

So, what are the “right places?”

I recently re-read the 5 Love Languages. I’m sure most of you are at least vaguely familiar with the book, but if not, here’s the gist: many couples have such a hard time connecting because they are speaking different love languages. We are trying to show our spouses love in ways that just don’t resonate with him/her.

Chapman came up with five primary love languages:

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical touch

The book is replete with examples of couples wasting their marital energy- showing their love in all the “wrong” ways – meaning ways that their spouses didn’t recognize. (NOTE: The True Agape blog is FULL of awesome ideas for how to best speak your spouse’s love language- check out their 5 Love Languages posts here)

For example, a frustrated wife who does so much for her husband- trying to make good meals, keeping the house cleaned, irons his clothes, etc, yet whose husband doesn’t seem to appreciate her efforts or feel love from her. He complains that their sex life has been lacking and she thinks, “Of course not. I don’t have the energy after taking care of our kids and house all day!”

If his primary love language is physical touch, no amount of service could compensate for a lack of physical connection. Her marital energy would be better spent expending less energy on creating the perfect dinner and cleaning and more energy on back rubs, hand holding, and … well, being physical.

Likewise, if he is confused why his wife is not more affectionate when he does plenty (in his mind) to show his love by buying flowers and cards, but her love language is acts of service, his energy would be better spent less on buying gifts and more on helping out around the house.

Anyway, I take a little issue with psychological answers that try to fit people into neat little categories and boxes. My response to whether I want my husband to show love to me through words, time, gifts, service or touch is . . . . umm yes please. I’ll take them all 🙂

That being said, there are certainly some things Rich does that I appreciate much more than others. My primary love language is quality time, so even if Rich were buying me gifts all the time or sending kind texts, to me, it still wouldn’t replace him giving me his undivided attention. That is how his marital energy is best spent- looking me in the eye, talking to me and spending time with me. Little else he does can compensate if that isn’t happening.

So how do we know how to show our spouses love in the best ways and save our marital energy??

ASK THEM!

Your spouse is the only one who can tell you how to best love him or her. Here’s a simple tip that may help: once a week every week ask your spouse: What is one thing I can do for you this week to make you feel loved?

Write it down and then DO THAT THING. Or at least give it your best shot.

I believe that done right, this tip can save your marriage.

Rich and I have started asking each other this question at the end of our companionship inventory. It is a WONDERFUL way to not spend so much energy with a trial-and-error method of showing love. Your spouse is telling you exactly how they want to be loved that week. And then when you do it, it is interpreted for what it truly is: an act of love. Your motives aren’t questioned. Your energy is well spent.

I’m discovering Rich and I take very few candid pictures together. I’m quickly depleting my reserve on this blog.

A few suggestions if you want to try out this tip: Start out by just asking your spouse and not asking for reciprocation. Telling your spouse you’re going to start doing love favors for each other each week could be interpreted as “I want you to do something for me, BUT to not just nag about it, I’m sneakily packaging it up as ‘love favors’.”

This isn’t about you, it’s about your marriage, so start by just asking your spouse, and chances are they’ll reciprocate before too long. And when they do, remember to keep your requests VERY simple and easy to do especially at first. (Rich and I have trial-and-error-ed this one for you; trust us, keep your requests simple).

We’re all busy. We’re all tired. We all should probably be spending more time on bonding with our spouses than we’re currently doing. Use your marital energy in the best ways possible- ask your spouse how they want to be loved and then show them love in that way.

June 4, 2015June 29, 2016

Why You Should Get Together With Other Couples More Often

By Josalyn

I remember having a conversation with our good friends, Josalyn and David once about advice we were given when we were first married. Josalyn said one I had never heard before- someone told her that to strengthen her marriage they should get together often with other couples.

This advice sort of seems contradictory- like if you have a free night to bond with your spouse it seems like you should just spend it alone with your spouse. And sometimes you should, but I really think there is something to the idea that getting together with other people can be just as strengthening. I know my favorite form of fun is getting together with and laughing uproariously with our couple friends (Joss is real good at the laughing part 😉 ). This, I think, strengthens our marriage much more than sitting at home and watching a show together. Also, research shows that we find our partners most attractive when we see them in a new or unusual setting different from the everyday norm- getting together with friends can do just that.

Wow, I had more to say about this topic than I thought. I’ll stop writing this post for Josalyn now. But, just know that this is the BEST person to write this post and both our love tanks and our stomachs have benefited GREATLY from getting together often with David and Josalyn 🙂

– Celeste

At this moment, my husband is sitting next to me at our desk doing Quicken. All the kids are finally asleep and although we are playing footsie under the table, this isn’t exactly what I would qualify as quality time together. I’m not going to lie; this is pretty typical for our evenings.

We have four kids under seven, one an infant, so date nights out are few and far between. We have date night at home at least once a week but a lot of that time translates into sitting in front of a screen together while snuggling on the couch. Not exactly quality time either. Don’t get me wrong. I am pro-snuggling. But we don’t talk much.

In fact I find that most of the time our conversations revolve around our children’s bathroom habits and misbehavior or my husband’s day at work … sound familiar?

Let me back up. When I was growing up my Dad always told me that I would make a very un-funny man very happy someday because I laugh easy and I laugh loud. David, my husband, is hilarious. One of my favorite times from when we were dating was when he said something funny as we were walking to class and I laughed so hard that I fell down and couldn’t get up. Every time someone walked by David said something else random and funny to them and it would start me all over again. I must have sat on that sidewalk for at least fifteen minutes, no exaggeration.

Does David still make me laugh like that? Sometimes I still fall on the floor in our kitchen and cry because I’m laughing so hard. It scares the children. But most of the time things are pretty boring around here …. Until we invite people over.

When we were newly married, we got some advice to spend time with other couples as a couple. I wish I could remember who gave us the advice now, because it was golden.

The idea is that when there are other people around, specifically people you don’t know well, all the things that initially attracted you to your spouse in the first place are suddenly there again in all their sexy glory. Your spouse is on their best behavior. You are so proud and pleased to be associated with them. ‘Yes that’s my husband’ you grin to yourself.

My husband turns his sense of humor on and I laugh and laugh. He has a knack for explaining random concepts he has learned about in a way that make other people feel something. He asks great questions and I am reminded of what a great listener he is. Something I often take for granted.

In fact, I am reminded of lots of good qualities that I take for granted sometimes just by the way the other couple interacts themselves. I often find myself thinking ‘Wow, I’m sure glad David doesn’t do that! I have the best husband ever!’ (Although not when we were hanging out with [insert your name here] of course) It works the other way too, I will see a woman treat her husband a certain way and think ‘That is so sweet, I should do that.’

Then the people leave and David and I discuss things that we wouldn’t usually discuss because we are on the same page about them. New people bring new ideas into our lives and minds and thus inspire lively conversations between me and my husband.

So how do I invite over random couples you may ask?

David and I still laugh about the first time we had a couple we didn’t know well over to dinner. We were very sneaky. We knew that this couple had a truck. We were walking through a discount store one day and we saw a couch that was pretty cheap and that we kind of liked. We were kind of on the fence about it but then we thought about this couple. We thought, ‘Hey, if we buy the couch we can borrow the truck and then we can invite them over to dinner as a payback gesture!!’ So we bought it. We became great friends with them, in fact the guy ended up helping us move cross country…

When we met Rich and Celeste I was terrified to invite them over because Celeste is beautiful and Rich wears these great glasses and had a beard and I totally thought they would be way too cool to be our friends, but they were totally excited. They asked us if we liked cabbage and the rest is history.

[Celeste here. Joss didn’t feel comfortable putting up pictures of them and other couples without getting their permission, so I gave her permission to use our pictures 😉 This is at a Western-themed murder mystery party David and Joss threw.]

We have people over at least once a week (family doesn’t count). They aren’t always new people, but the benefits to your marriage are still there. Here are some tips if you want to get started in your new life as a socialite:

It doesn’t have to be at your house if that freaks you out. Parks are good. Restaurants work. There are couples I know we won’t be able to get to leave our house so we meet them places.
Your house doesn’t have to be perfect. The hospitality is more important than the environment.
I still get butterflies when I ask new people over and I have been doing this for over eight years. Being nervous is fun.
It helps to have something to focus on. We have a wide variety of board games and I usually start people off by asking them to dinner. Dessert works too. No one says no to dessert. Well, almost no one.
Don’t assume you won’t get along with someone! Don’t do it. You can’t tell who will be your friends. It doesn’t have to do with age, kids’ ages, beauty or socioeconomic status. I could tell you stories about friends we’ve made where each of these situations made me think that we wouldn’t get along and we ended up being great friends.
Let your kids entertain their kids. Teaching your kids how to be good hosts and hostesses is a great side benefit to having other families over. Ages are less important than you think.
Oh, LDS missionaries work great if you want to start out with someone who will surely say yes. Those kids will not pass up a meal. We feed missionaries once a week and David has told each new set of missionaries the same stories and you know what? I never get sick of hearing them.

[Celeste again- here we are at a Scottish festival together dueling with the best of em.]

Yay! You can do it! It is so worth it. You will make new friends! You will appreciate your spouse more! You will remember why you fell in love with him/her in the first place. You will feel younger, like you are back in college or dating mode. Try it! Let me know how it goes! I am so excited for you.

Category Archives: Relationship Tips