Often when we let our connection to our spouse slip, it seems overwhelming or daunting to get that connection back again. It can be easier to isolate ourselves waiting for our spouse to do the work.
But marital improvement starts with us always. It doesn’t have to be a big, daunting thing to re-connect. Start simple. The little things matter. They become the big things.
Kim from Marriage Zing is here today to teach us seven simple ways to reconnect with your spouse when your connection has slipped. Thanks Kim!
Marriage, or in many cases, parenting, can often take its toll on the sweetest of couples. Before you know it, the love you once had has withered away, and you and your partner are left wondering… What happened to us?
Thankfully, these unwanted situations can be reversed with enough diligent effort and planning. It’s not rocket science, nor would it cost you an arm and a leg.
Next time you are feeling a bit “off,” here are seven simple ways to re-connect with your spouse:
1) Touch more
The sense of touch releases endorphins and serotonin, the hormones of happiness. When married couples get too busy with their day-to-day, they often neglect this simple yet powerful daily ritual.
Try holding hands more, hugging and kissing longer, and literally ‘feel’ the sense of touch the next time you embrace. These subtle gestures will invigorate the juices you once had.
2) Schedule time together
Human beings love to procrastinate. If it isn’t important enough or life threatening, we’ll find some excuse to postpone it. Make an effort to actively schedule date nights with your spouse.
Make it interesting, go somewhere new, dress up, try some new food and soon you’ll be able to break the routine and make these date nights the thing you look forward to the most in the week.
3) Create a reconnecting ritual
My brother and his wife had a very interesting ritual. They would sit down on the bed for 10 minutes before sleeping and look into each others eyes without breaking contact. Then, they would talk about how they felt for the day.
You wouldn’t believe how this simple ritual for reconnecting helped them form such a strong bond together and help them actually have some “us” time together even if the days get super busy.
4) Show appreciation and gratitude
Sometimes we really take our spouses for granted. Enough is enough. Start showing small signs of appreciation for everything they do.
You can use little post-it notes, helping with the chores, or simply saying… “Thank you” when he/she does something for you. You can even buy surprise gifts to let your spouse know how much you appreciate and value him/her.
I think human beings are essentially bad listeners. It could be due to our phones and electronic devices or addiction to social media that causes our attention spans to be so low.
The next time you have a conversation with your spouse, make an effort to listen carefully to everything he or she says. Especially the guys, pay attention! Actively listening and acknowledging your partner goes a long way in reconnecting at a deeper level.
6) Revisit the past
One good way to reconnect with your spouse is to revisit an old memory you guys once shared. It could be where you first met, your first dance, your “song” or where you both shared an embarrassing moment.
It will remind you of the love you once had and strengthen your determination to create new, loving memories as a married couple.
7) Extend foreplay
Last but not least, a tip related to sexual re-connection. Extending foreplay is the easiest way to say, “This is not our routine thing.” It’s a great way to break the monotony of boring sexual rituals and produce more intense feelings during your time together.
Extending foreplay will also help you explore parts of your partner that may be neglected; stimulating and activating neural systems which may have been left dormant for years. The quality of your love making will affect your relationship at a subconscious level, which affects your ability to reconnect with your spouse.
I hope this article has given you some practical ideas, how to reconnect with your spouse. Remember, you have to put in effort to maintain a strong, sexually-polarized, exciting partnership. Feel free to leave a comment below if you have additional tips on reconnecting with your spouse.