Every aspect of marriage has a high desire partner and a low desire partner. Whether it is how clean the house is, how strict the budget is or how often you have sex, one partner will desire those things more than the other.

This Valentine’s week, we are focusing on the high desire partner in a sexual relationship. This can be a tricky position to be in because you can feel very stuck and powerless to improve your situation. Manipulating, coercing, and pressuring may get you what you want in the short term, but have lots of negative consequences in a relationship. What’s left then?

Thankfully, we have an expert on the show, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife navigate the Dos and Don’ts of being the high desire partner.

Rich and Celeste offer some therapy to the song “I Want You to Want Me” orginally by Cheap Trick, covered by Letters to Cleo. And you’re not going to want to miss Rich’s high falutin healthier re-make of the song!

Show Notes

Jennifer is hosting an Art of Desire women’s retreat May 1-4 in Oregon.  It is a three-day immersive experience for LDS women that gets rave reviews.  Jennifer is hosting the retreat this Spring in Hillsboro Oregon (outside of Portland) and there are only about 10 spots left! In the workshop, Jennifer fundamentally challenges the way you think about yourself, your desires (in general) and your sexuality and will help you to not only be at more peace with sexuality, but will help you be fundamentally at more peace with yourself. I have taken this course online and cannot recommend it enough!

Jennifer’s Online Courses found here include a couples’ relationship course (which I highly recommend!), a couples’ sexuality course, a woman’s sexuality course and a course on how to talk to your kids about sex. They are all fantastic and come with a year’s worth of office hours where you can have personal access to Jennifer and her wisdom.

Rich’s re-written lyrics

I want you to want me
But need ME to deal with me
I’d love for you to love me
But that’s cuz I want you to accept me

I want you to want me
(go high) That’s what we all want naturally
But of course you have autonomy

Ask good questions of you
But gonna question myself first
Put in emotional work
Because I really love you…

True that I, true that I, true that I’m high desirin’
Doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean I can leave you cryin’
Being with you intimately, I wanna keep on trying
And manage my, manage my, manage my high desirin’

I want you to want me
And be connected physically
Let’s talk about it openly
And work on this thing mutually

Trying connecting with you
Validate my feelings first
Do things we both hope will work
To create something really lovely

True that I, true that I, true that I’m high desirin’
Doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean I can leave you cryin’
Being with you intimately, I wanna keep on trying
While acknowleging’, acknowledging, acknowleging my high desirin’