Embracing Negative Emotion 101: How to Feel All the Feelings

Embracing Negative Emotion 101: How to feel all your feelings instead of numbing them. Click through to read 4 ways of confronting hard feelings.

I had this thought for most of my life. A thought that seemed innocuous, but really kept me from connecting with myself and others. The thought was that I should ignore my negative emotions. I can remember so many times being bothered by something Rich said or did and consciously telling myself, “Just ignore it. Let it go. Don’t think about it. Nothing’s wrong. La la la la la.” Now, when I’m bothered by Rich it is more a reflection of what is going on with me and my head than whatever it was he did or said, so it… Read More

Episode 9: The Happiness Trap (“If It Makes You Happy”) Featuring Amanda Louder Show Notes

The Happiness Trap podcast

“If it makes you happy, is it really that bad?” So sings Sheryl Crow in her hit song, “If It Makes You Happy.” Many people think if it makes you happy, then do it, no questions asked. But often the things that make us happy are the things that are bad for us (I’m looking at you Oreos). It all depends on how we define happiness, what our expectations for happiness are and maintaining the ability to be unhappy sometimes. These are a few of the topics we cover in today’s episode, The Happiness Trap. We are thrilled to have life… Read More

Why “Being Happy” is a Pretty Costly Life Goal (and three better alternatives)

What percentage of the time are you happy? 30%? 80%? Now, what percentage of the time do you think you SHOULD be happy? via GIPHY Up until fairly recently, I thought the happy to unhappy ratio in my life should be about 90/10. I thought I should be happy about 90% of the time. (I never actually quantified this, but unconsciously I assumed I should be happy the vast majority of the time). But recently I read something that sounds maybe obvious but sort of blew my mind. It said that we can expect to experience positive emotion about 50% of… Read More

Episode 8: Trust (“Every Breath You Take”) Featuring Aimee Heffernan Show Notes

The song “Every Breath You Take” by The Police was a classic slow song favorite at every middle school and high school dance I attended. My friends even had it as their wedding song. But have you actually paid attention to the lyrics? “Every step you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.”  Creeeeeeeper. Even Sting admitted it was a creepy song about surveillance, but the song sounds so nice and romantic you don’t think about it. Well, that’s why we’re here! (you’re welcome) We are talking all about trust in this week’s episode (the guy in the… Read More

Episode 7: Over Accommodating (“Back for Good”) Show Notes

Being a jerkface in your marriage is a clear no-no, but how about being overly accommodating? Slightly less so, however, if done with regularity, consistent OVER accommodation becomes a problem, namely we don’t own up to our desires and often become resentful. This week, we give therapy to the song “Back for Good” by Take That as we discuss the “I’ll do anything for you” mentality. As always, Rich sings his version of this song into more healthy (slightly less desperate) waters. Enjoy!   Here are Rich’s much improved lyrics: I guess, now it’s time. For bringing this up, Thing… Read More