6 Practical Ways to Develop the Skill of Self-Love (even when you feel unlovable)

“How do you make your partner’s life difficult? What is hard about living with you?” This is a question that Jennifer Finlayson-Fife asked in her marriage course, which I took. She asked us all to really sit with this and come up with some answers. I’ll be honest. I didn’t love my time sitting with this question. I felt uncomfortable. My faults are not my favorite company to sit with. However, these are necessary questions to ask if we want to improve our marriages (which we do . . . just in case you forgot and ran away when I… Read More

Self-Confronting: Do I REALLY Have To?

Self Confronting is so necessary for the success of any relationship, but it can be so hard. Click through for some great tips.

Alright, in our year of the SELF theme, this month’s posts are all about self-confronting with love. Which brings us to our topic today: self-confronting: do I REALLY have to? Guess what my answer is . . . Go on, guess. WRONG! The answer is YES! Self-confronting is SO crucial in a marriage. How crucial? So glad you asked. Guess what marriage therapist Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife advises those who are dating that the NUMBER ONE characteristic to look for in a potential spouse is? Charisma? Kindness? Compassion? Rock hard abs? Nope nope and nope. She says the NUMBER ONE… Read More

Why Are You Married? (A Helpful Mindset For When You Forget)

Yesterday I was cooking with my kids. As my daughter spilled milk all over the table and the floor (and did in fact, cry over it), and my son flung hamburger meat all over the counter while “stirring” it for me, I paused and thought, “Why am I doing this? This would be easier without them.” Upon reflection, I remembered that I want my kids to love cooking. I want my kids to eat dinner and helping with cooking helps (or at least that’s what people keep telling me . . .). I want my kids to eventually be able… Read More

Are You Focusing on Your Spouse’s Attributes or Flaws? (how to flip the switch)

My marriage has undoubtedly improved since starting this blog. In so, so many ways. I can remember living and reacting from a place of fear before where now I have peace. Peace gives room for love. I’m coming closer and closer to loving Rich unconditionally – I can definitely feel that shift. I’ve been trying to break down exactly WHAT has changed or what mindsets have helped me the most. Certainly, I have had countless light-bulb moments while reading, researching, writing and thinking about marriage. But what is it exactly that created the shift from conditional love to unconditional love?… Read More

How to Help Your Addicted Spouse

A few weeks ago I received an email from a reader asking if he could write a guest post for my site for spouses married to an addict. Having battled an opiate addiction himself, he’s out to help other couples on the journey he and his wife have gone through.  He co-created RecoveryHelp to help people with substance abuse and their families. I’m so grateful he reached out to me and have happily posted his article below. Thanks Caleb!   How to Help Your Addicted Spouse Intimate relationships shared with our loved ones ought to be safe havens–places to seek… Read More