Putting Ourselves in Their Shoes

Are you stuck in a frequent argument with your partner?  Instead of trying to figure out how to win, try out putting yourself in their mental space for a week. You just may be surprised by the outcome.

The theme for the month of September will be all about my personal marriage wins.  Each month I send my email subscribers a “win” I’ve had for the month, so the posts this month are taken directly from those emails I’ve sent out.  My email list is where I get pretty personal, so if you want in on this (and duh, you definitely want in on this), just  sign up right at the bottom of this post. 🙂

Are you stuck in a frequent argument with your partner?  Instead of trying to figure out how to win, try out putting yourself in their mental space for a week. You may be surprised by the outcome.  Click through for how it changed this girl.

From October 23, 2015:

I’m so excited to tell you about my “marriage win” for the week because it was a BIG one!

Rich and I have had this on-going argument about his Twitter account of all things, for YEARS now.  YEARS.  His side is that Twitter is his go-to for all news, science happenings and friend interaction, so he’s on there a lot and loves it.  My side is that I felt like his Twitter feed is really negative and angry and just sort of brings him down a lot, which I felt like affected how he interacts with me and the kids. So I have kind of been nagging him to either clean up his feed or to not spend so much time there.

We sort of had at it two weeks ago during our companionship inventory and things got a little heated.  I saw how frustrated Rich was that I wasn’t seeing his side of things and only saw the negatives without the positives, so I decided (FINALLY) to try to see things from his side.

I promised myself I would spend a little time each day on his Twitter feed and really try to see things how he did, to put myself in his shoes and try to feel as he felt when he read about the things that typically just bring me down.

You guys.  It was so transformative for me!  I totally saw all these news articles and issues in a completely different light than I ever had before.  I saw that these were issues that Rich cared deeply about.  He really, really cares about the minorities and the mistreated of our country and feels that he owes it to them to be informed about their issues.

I realized I have been WAY too hard on him.  I was more concerned with my “solution” without looking into whether or not there was a problem with my perception of the situation.  As I read and tried to understand his feelings, I felt a deep love for him as I realized how much he cares for those who aren’t as lucky as him.

It made me think, what else have I been wrong about?  What other issue can I see his side on?

So, I guess the challenge for the week is to try to see things from your spouse’s perspective on an issue you argue about frequently.

Anyone else have a story like this?  Or have benefited from making an effort to see your spouse’s side of things?  I would LOVE for you to respond here and tell me about it!  It would make my day.  Thanks guys!

Ah empathy, it never fails.

So, now that you know what goes on in these emails, to get them in the future, just type your pretty little email address in the box below.  I’ll take good care of it, I promise.

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