Marriage Advice from the Obamas

No matter your political stance, we can all agree that Barack and Michelle Obama have been fabulous examples of a rock solid marriage in their time in the limelight. Here’s a few pieces of marriage advice from the Obama’s.


Secrets to the happy marriage of Michelle and Barack Obama. Click through to read their quotes and advice on how they've maintained such a strong marriage.

This month we’re going to be talking all about marriage advice from famous people, who are also strong examples of good marriages.

Barack and Michelle Obama have been nothing but that- a FABULOUS example of prioritizing their marriage even with what I imagine would be extremely difficult circumstances to prioritize marriage – having your husband be the president.

I mean, my husband is not quite the President of the United States, he’s a PhD student and we STILL have to constantly work and remind ourselves to prioritize our time together to make our marriage stronger.  I’m pretty grateful my husband isn’t president for a number of reasons, but obstacles to a strong marriage would be up there.  Good thing he’s been able to NOT be president. So far.

Anyway, here are some of the secrets to the happy marriage of the Obama’s (citations to quotes found in the links of their names):

1. Get ready to work

“Marriage is hard work. Even the best of marriages require a lot of work — even if you’re married to your soulmate who has very few flaws. Building a life with a person other than yourself, and raising kids and dealing with all of the bumps and the bruises and the joys and the pains that go along with life, that creates the natural state of marriage, and it’s a challenge. I say that to people not to discourage them but to say that you will inevitably hit those bumps. Don’t view that as a shortcoming of yourself or your spouse or your marriage. Don’t give up on it. Just understand that you’re going along the path that everybody else goes on. Go in ready for the work.”  – Michelle

“We’ve been married now 20 years, and like every marriage you have your ups and you have your downs, but if you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens.” Barack in an interview with Barbara Walters

“It has to be a true partnership, and you have to really really like and respect the person you’re married to because it is a hard road. I mean, that’s what I tell young couples. Don’t expect it to be easy, melding two lives and trying to raise others, and doing it forever. I mean that’s a recipe made for disaster, so there are highs and lows. But if in the end you can look him in the eye and say, ‘I like you.’ I stopped believing at love in first sight. I think you go through that wonderful love stage, but when it gets hard, you need a little bit more.”  – Michelle

via lipstic

2.  Express Gratitude for Each Other Often

“One of the things that attracted me to Barack was his emotional honesty. Right off the bat he said what he felt. There are no games with him—he is who he appears to be. I feel fortunate as a woman to have a husband who loves me and shows me in every way.”
–  Michelle

“And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years … the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady … Michelle Obama.”  – Barack’s remarks in Chicago

“If you were going to list the 100 most popular things that I have done as president, being married to Michelle Obama is number one.” – Barack

“Obviously I couldn’t have done anything that I’ve done without Michelle. . . . not only has she been a great first lady, she is just my rock. I count on her in so many ways every single day.”  – Barack

“On Oct. 3, 1992, Barack and I were married in Chicago — and every day since, I’ve grown prouder and more in love with him.” – Michelle

via DailyMail

3.  Go on Dates

“We try to do date nights; it’s a little tough. Barack has a 20-car motorcade, men with guns, the ambulance is always there. How romantic can you be?” – Michelle talking to Jimmy Fallon

“How do you and Barack deal with being apart for an extended period?”: “We have adjusted to maintaining a really solid relationship at a distance. We talk every day, every night. If we have a moment, no matter how tired we are, we go on a date.”  – Michelle

“We were at a law firm together, I was a Summer associate, she was already practicing law. I had been sort of eying her for a while, but she was acting real professional. Finally I wear her down a little bit and I say, we’re coming back from a firm picnic and I said, ‘Well let’s go get some ice cream.’ We went to Baskin-Robbins on 53rd Street in Chicago, she bought chocolate, I don’t remember what I bought. They didn’t have any seats in the store so we sat out on a curb on a Summer day and had ice cream, and that’s when I asked her if I could kiss her.”  – Barack on their first kiss

via xonecole

4.  Don’t forget the little stuff

“When the kids go to bed and after he’s done a little reading, we’re usually curled up in our den, and we’ll watch a show together. Or we’ll talk and catch up. It’s nothing major, but that’s what marriage is about. Not the big, splashy stuff. It’s just the little day-to-day sharing and routines and rituals that we still have.”Michelle

“”I loved Barack just the way he was. Our life before moving to Washington was filled with simple joys. Saturdays at soccer games, Sundays at Grandma’s house. And a date night for Barack and me was either dinner or a movie, because as an exhausted mom, I couldn’t stay awake for both. He was still the guy who’d picked me up for our dates in a car that was so rusted out, I could actually see the pavement going by through a hole in the passenger-side door.”  – Michelle

via Obamadiary

5.  Keep the Romance Alive

“Got to keep the romance alive, even in the White House. … He remembers dates, birthdays, he doesn’t forget a thing.”  – Michelle

“… I think it’s the Obama’s willingness to act in public much how they act in private—open, informal, flirtatious—that has incited most of the swooning. uch how they act in private—open, informal, flirtatious — that has incited most of the swooning. At the Youth Ball, I noticed the president do something that’s impossible to imagine any of his predecessors doing: resting his head, eyes closed, on Michelle’s shoulder.”  – Andrew Romano

““Sometimes, when we’re lying together, I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something strong between us. Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that it’s important that a partner continues to surprise.”  – Barack

6.  Laugh and Flirt

“I think in our house we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and laughter is the best form of unity, I think, in a marriage. So we still find ways to have fun together, and a lot of it is private and personal. But we keep each other smiling and that’s good.”Michelle

“Does he pick up his socks? No, no, no he doesn’t. He’s not good, you know. He thinks he’s neat, but he has people who help him, you know, and I’m like, it’s not you who’s neat, the people who pick up your socks, those are the neat people.” – Michelle

via lipstiq

7.  Self Care

“I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband, and my physical health. That’s hard for women to own; we’re not taught to do that. It’s a lesson that I want to teach my girls so they don’t wait for their “aha” moment until they’re in their 30s like I was (laughs). Maybe they can experience it a little earlier.” – Michelle

8.  Be a Team

“Michelle was trying to figure out, OK, if the kids get sick why is it that she’s the one who has to take time off of her job to go pick them up from school, as opposed to me? What I tried to do was to learn to be thoughtful enough and introspective enough that I wasn’t always having to be told that things were unfair.”  – Barack

“It’s one of many ways that Barack shows me and the girls how special we are. And that’s the thing that touches me about him. I don’t care what’s on his plate. I don’t care what he’s struggling with. When he steps off that elevator into our residence he is Barack and dad. And there’s just those little things that you do that remind you, that you know, I still got ya.”  – Michelle

via turntable

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