I seriously felt like I could have asked almost every. single. couple I know to guest post on this topic. Well, I guess off the top of my head, I can think of like four couples I feel see each other quite a bit, but basically everyone else I know very rarely sees their spouse. Sad!
We’re all in good company here. Let’s help each other out.
And I was thinking, gosh, that’s hard to do when you never see your spouse. Especially because it’s not enough to keep tabs just once in a while. Our daily fears, successes, hopes and dreams are constantly CHANGING, and we’d better keep our spouses close or pretty soon we’ll be completely different people and think, “Hey, who is this person I married? When did they become so different?” Or we change so much that we feel misunderstood or unheard.
Growing apart from your spouse can be really scary. When Rich and I were first married, we were totally in the same boat with just about everything. We were both students, we both had the domestic habits of teenage boys, we had the same friends and we mostly shared the same views on politics, morality, life goals, etc. We had the same schedule and led very similar lives.
The things that used to be so important to me (world issues, community issues, any issue other than those directly affecting my children and their sleep patterns) just aren’t on a daily basis to me anymore, but they are to him. When we talk he’s like, “Hey! This political thing is really important, don’t you read/care about it?” And I’m like, “Hey! This parenting thing is really important, don’t you read/care about it?” Oh, marriage.
Left unchecked, these differences could grow into mountains.
Good, solid communication is crucial to develop when you don’t see each other much. When all we’re left with are the dregs of our energy when we see our spouses, it’s so easy for marriages to drain themselves of mutual affection and support.
If we have to be apart most of the day or most days, we’ve got to find ways to connect and be friends. Thank goodness we live in a time when this is actually pretty easy. Texts, emails, chatting and calling to check in or send nice words can do wonders when you’re apart.
So thems my two cents. Stay tuned for words of wisdom from people who know much more than I do on this topic (and all other topics).