Want to set some couple goals this year? If you actually plan on achieving them make sure they are specific, measurable, and within your control. If not, do your thing.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I am in full-blown New Year resolution mode right now. Last month I watched this productivity summit as well as an excellent goal-setting webinar (any Michael Hyatt fans out there?) and whoa I am PUMPED for the new year!
*fist pump*
Those summits were mostly for business-related info, but I’m realizing that the goal-setting information I’ve learned applies perfectly to marriage. Specifically I’m thinking of the advice that if you try to put your energy into many different goals in an area of your life, you may make a little progress in each goal, but if you put all your energy into just one thing, you’ll go much further.
In other words, focus.
For example, you COULD set a goal to be healthy (including to exercise regularly, eat more vegetables, eat fewer sweets and carbs, get more sleep and drink more water) OR you could set a goal to work out every weekday for 15 minutes first thing in the morning. Which would you be more likely to accomplish? Which is more sustainable? Which is measurable?
Another example: my six-year-old daughter gets so excited to read all five of her chapter books from the library each week that she reads one page of the first book, then one page of the next book, and on for each book. The she repeats with the first few pages of all five books. She would make it a lot further if she chose just one book to focus on (as I have suggested more than once . . . 😉 ).
We’re coming back around to marriage, hang with me here.
I conducted a survey on the blog a few weeks back asking the question of what your marriage goals are for the new year and over and over I’m hearing the phrases “make time” and “prioritize.”
Three examples:
- “make more time for one-on-one meaningful conversations”
- “make it a top priority over everything else.”
- “more time doing things together.”
These are excellent things to shoot for. May I suggest to actually achieve them we make them a little more specific and measurable?
How about:
- Talk together for 10 minutes every night at 9:00pm.
- Text husband/wife something I love about them twice a week.
- Schedule a date night the last Friday of every month.
The Takeaway
For marriage goals, instead of setting a bunch of goals such as spend more time together, have more sex, and communicate more, set just one very specific, measurable and sustainable goal.
A few more ideas:
– Ask husband/wife about the good and bad of their day every night at dinner. (more about daily communication here)
– Initiate sex every Thursday night.
– Have a date night the last Friday of every month.
– Keep a gratitude journal of one thing I appreciate my spouse doing each day before bed.
– Read two marriage books in the next three months.
Those are just a few ideas. Chances are, the wheels are starting to turn in your head and you are starting to think of something that would take your marriage to the next level next year. Do it! Write it down!
And then leave a comment and tell me what it is!!!
What are your marriage goals this year?? I’d LOVE to spotlight your goal in an upcoming post!
PS If you are having a hard time coming up with one, don’t worry, with our new site Marriage Laboratory, we are going to be holding 5 month-long challenges this year that are going to be specific, measurable and marriage-improving! So stay tuned- I’ll be announcing what and when they will be later this month.