7 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse

Often when we let our connection to our spouse slip, it seems overwhelming or daunting to get that connection back again. It can be easier to isolate ourselves waiting for our spouse to do the work.

But marital improvement starts with us always. It doesn’t have to be a big, daunting thing to re-connect. Start simple. The little things matter. They become the big things.

Kim from Marriage Zing is here today to teach us seven simple ways to reconnect with your spouse when your connection has slipped.  Thanks Kim!


Marriage, or in many cases, parenting, can often take its toll on the sweetest of couples. Before you know it, the love you once had has withered away, and you and your partner are left wondering… What happened to us?

Thankfully, these unwanted situations can be reversed with enough diligent effort and planning. It’s not rocket science, nor would it cost you an arm and a leg.

Reconnect with your partner | Has your connection slid a bit? It doesn't have to be overwhelming to re-connect, start simple.

Next time you are feeling a bit “off,” here are seven simple ways to re-connect with your spouse:

1) Touch more

The sense of touch releases endorphins and serotonin, the hormones of happiness. When married couples get too busy with their day-to-day, they often neglect this simple yet powerful daily ritual.

Try holding hands more, hugging and kissing longer, and literally ‘feel’ the sense of touch the next time you embrace. These subtle gestures will invigorate the juices you once had.

2) Schedule time together

Human beings love to procrastinate. If it isn’t important enough or life threatening, we’ll find some excuse to postpone it. Make an effort to actively schedule date nights with your spouse.

Make it interesting, go somewhere new, dress up, try some new food and soon you’ll be able to break the routine and make these date nights the thing you look forward to the most in the week.

3) Create a reconnecting ritual

My brother and his wife had a very interesting ritual. They would sit down on the bed for 10 minutes before sleeping and look into each others eyes without breaking contact. Then, they would talk about how they felt for the day.

You wouldn’t believe how this simple ritual for reconnecting helped them form such a strong bond together and help them actually have some “us” time together even if the days get super busy.

4) Show appreciation and gratitude

Sometimes we really take our spouses for granted. Enough is enough. Start showing small signs of appreciation for everything they do.

You can use little post-it notes, helping with the chores, or simply saying… “Thank you” when he/she does something for you. You can even buy surprise gifts to let your spouse know how much you appreciate and value him/her.

5) Listen

I think human beings are essentially bad listeners. It could be due to our phones and electronic devices or addiction to social media that causes our attention spans to be so low.

The next time you have a conversation with your spouse, make an effort to listen carefully to everything he or she says. Especially the guys, pay attention! Actively listening and acknowledging your partner goes a long way in reconnecting at a deeper level.

6) Revisit the past

One good way to reconnect with your spouse is to revisit an old memory you guys once shared. It could be where you first met, your first dance, your “song” or where you both shared an embarrassing moment.

It will remind you of the love you once had and strengthen your determination to create new, loving memories as a married couple.

7) Extend foreplay

Last but not least, a tip related to sexual re-connection. Extending foreplay is the easiest way to say, “This is not our routine thing.” It’s a great way to break the monotony of boring sexual rituals and produce more intense feelings during your time together.

Extending foreplay will also help you explore parts of your partner that may be neglected; stimulating and activating neural systems which may have been left dormant for years. The quality of your love making will affect your relationship at a subconscious level, which affects your ability to reconnect with your spouse.


I hope this article has given you some practical ideas, how to reconnect with your spouse. Remember, you have to put in effort to maintain a strong, sexually-polarized, exciting partnership. Feel free to leave a comment below if you have additional tips on reconnecting with your spouse.

The Kissing Challenge for Married Couples

The Challenge:  Kiss your spouse for six seconds two times a day every day this week.
Hypothesis: Stronger connection. Happy feelings. Good times.

Rob from Family, Good Things is back guest posting today! Wahoo! And he’s here with a simple yet effective experiment in love for busy couples (hey! that’s your tagline!): the kissing challenge.  Thanks Rob!  – Celeste

The Verdict

When you were first married you kissed your spouse more often (and longer) than you do now.

Your Sentence

You need to read this brief article and be willing to do the homework (best homework ever).

Warning #1

If you have not yet been married for a year, this article will be confusing and hard to follow. Please wait to read this until you are no longer a newlywed.

Warning #2

If you aren’t married, don’t start getting any crazy ideas. While our oldest is only 14, my wife and I are toying with the idea of having a “no kissing until 30” family rule. We haven’t totally thought this through yet – including the potential risk of delayed grandparenthood, but we think the rule has potential :).

The Kissing Challenge

Your Life

You are busy. You have many responsibilities at home, at work, and likely in the community as well. You are often tired. And, when you and your spouse are reunited you quickly peck his/her lips as you continue on with your hectic schedule.

The Problem

Your marriage needs physical affection. It is true that physical intimacy (including kissing) is just one of many aspects of a happy marriage. Yet, in my years of studying, teaching, and observing marriage, I don’t believe that physical intimacy is optional for those who truly want to experience marital bliss.

Wise couples know that they need to nurture every aspect of the marriage relationship in order for their marriage to thrive. And while this intentional nurturing certainly involves more than just physical intimacy, and physical intimacy clearly includes more than simply kissing, this article focuses on the benefits of the six-second kiss!

The Research: Dr. John Gottman, PhD and renowned marriage researcher from the University of Washington, has studied marriage for decades. Dr. Gottman has frequently referenced the importance of connecting during times of departure (leaving for work, falling asleep, etc.) and times of reunion (returning from work, waking up in the morning…you get the idea.). How does he recommend that you connect with your spouse? You guessed it, with a six-second kiss. Why six seconds? According to Gottman, this kiss is “long enough to feel romantic”, yet it doesn’t make the kids late for school :).

Did you know that kissing also releases oxytocin, which is the same hormone that is released when a woman breast-feeds her baby? This hormone is partly responsible for the connection and comfort that mothers and babies share with each other. This hormone can also help husbands and wives bond more as… drum roll please… you kiss more.

The Kissing Challenge: Kiss your spouse for six seconds, twice a day for a week!  The result: stronger connection. Are you up to the challenge?  Click through for more benefits!

“Gross Your Kids Out”…Secretly, they Like It

My wife and I have been practicing the six second kiss for a while now. I told her it was research for a future article :). There are certainly times where we can enjoy a kiss without children being near. However, with five energetic children often hovering near their mother, my “good-bye kiss” and my “I’m home kiss” often have an audience. For years this show of affection has been met by loud resistance from our oldest son (now 11). Of course, being the sympathetic parents that we are, we have begun to either call his name before we kiss or we prolong the kiss if he starts complaining :).

On a more serious note, children really do crave the security of knowing that mom and dad love each other and knowing that they enjoy kissing each other is one such assurance. So, you have my permission to “gross your kids out.” It is good for you and good for them.

Homework Time

Alright, now it is time for one of the most enjoyable homework assignments you’ve ever been given. Your assignment is to kiss your spouse for at least 6 seconds at two different times during the day. Try this for one week. Then, before, during, or after your assignment, please leave comments with this article or on our Facebook page. I want to hear from you!

Also, if you haven’t already, please be sure to sign up for our newsletter (on our home page). This will ensure that you are notified each time we post a new article! And, if you like this article, share it with your married friends – chances are they need to be kissing more too :).

Extra Credit

Prolonged kissing is just one way to fan the flame of romance within your marriage. For those interested in an incredibly happy marriage, you really ought to buy our popular new mini eBook, “3 Things You Can Do Today to Have a Ridiculously Happy Marriage.”

This fun book provides research-based principles that you can apply immediately to your marriage (all for about the price of two tacos and a diet soda). But, only buy this book if you want to be ridiculously happy. If you don’t, your money would definitely be better spent on two tasty tacos!

Nighttime Routine Tips to Help Any Marriage

That time before bed is precious to a marriage and committing to a happy healthy nightly routine with your spouse can make all the difference in maintaining a happy healthy marriage.
By Karla Vance

We have all heard that old saying “never go to bed angry” and though some nights are easier than others my husband and I have tried to live by that motto. When the stress of work or home responsibilities get to us, it can make that period before we go to sleep a time that should be filled with cuddles and loving words, combative, restless and ultimately lead to the Negative Spiral of Marital Misery. That time before bed is precious to a marriage and committing to a happy healthy nightly routine with your spouse can make all the difference in maintaining a happy healthy marriage. So how do you do that?

NIghttime routine tips to help any marriage.  The time right before bed can be a sacred time for marriage.  Set up a routine and make it count.  Click through for some tips :)
Find a Routine that Works

For us, finding a routine that works was all about setting realistic expectations. When my husband and I first started paying attention to our nightly routine in earnest we had grand plans of spending an hour (30 minutes a piece) recounting our day and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. However, the realities of life made this lofty goal impossible, just like my desire to never let my children taste a chicken nugget. My husband and I go to sleep at roughly the same time, so while we are getting ready for sleep we spend a few minutes without computers, TVs, or kids and focus on us. It is important not to use this time to recount the growing list of honey do’s you have piling in your head. This time should be about connecting with your spouse on a personal level. This time of connectedness doesn’t only have to be filled with conversations. Intimacy is just as important as communication and physical touch can have a deep impact on your emotional well-being.

More things to consider.

My husband loves my peach cobbler. So, every now and then we will enjoy the dessert in bed (just make sure to brush your teeth afterward)! Dessert in bed is a tradition that started when I was pregnant with our second child and helps us reconnect to very special moments in our marriage journey. Dancing, singing, or listening to music are all fun activities that can help focus your attention on each other and away from the stress of day to day life.

Getting a good nights rest.

Finally, actually getting a good night’s rest together is tantamount to having a healthy happy nighttime routine. Couples with different sleep patterns reported a higher propensity for marital conflict, less time in serious conversation, and less time spent in shared activities. Setting a sleep schedule that you both can keep, investing in the right mattress for your sleeping needs, and including physical activity in your daily routine are all activities that will help facilitate a better night’s sleep.
Making a conscious effort at having a happier healthier bedtime routine will have a tremendously positive effect on your marriage. Find the routine that works best for you and your spouse and STICK TO IT! Above all else, remember to enjoy every moment you have together.


Karla Vance is the mother to three darling children: Brittany, Christopher, and Jenna, wife to Christopher and marketing manager at Mattresses For Less in Houston, Texas.

No time together? Take the 10 minute DAILY connect for busy couples challenge!

One thing almost every couple has in common is that they are busy. Beat the busy with your spouse! Schedule 10 minutes to connect each and every day. 

“How was your day?”
“Uhhhh, it was . . . . . ok. How was yours?”
“Ummm, busy, but fine.”

OR more realistically:

“How was your day?”
“MOOMMMM! Can I have some milk?”
“Uhhh, it was . . . . ok. How was yours?”
“Ummmm, fine. Busy, but fine.”
“Knock, knock. . . . . . . . .  HEY!  KNOCK KNOCK!!!”

Last month while researching for the article The Power of a Good Greeting, I realized Rich and I were doing this “How was your day?” thing all wrong. We were asking each other about our days right when we first saw each other when I was trying to get dinner on the table, Rich was hungry and tired and the kids were conspiring together, somehow determined to not let us have a meaningful conversation.

Learn from our mistakes. This is not the best time to discuss your day with your spouse.

I wish I could say that we took the time to connect later on when our kids were in bed, but sadly we were usually just so drained that our bodies seemed to carry themselves unconsciously to a screen (TV, laptop, IPAD, pick your poison) and that was that. I’ve said it before, but if you leave free time unchecked, it will sprout legs and walk itself to the nearest screen faster than you can say, “what to do you want to do tonight?”

I’m no calculator, but this daily routine of ours leaves us very little time to actually connect and ya know, talk. Thinking through this problem, we came up with a solution. We call it the 10 minute connect (ok, well I call it the 10 minute connect, Rich calls it, “let’s talk.” He’s anti-establishment like that.)

Every night this month (ok, well almost every night) we take 10 minutes to connect and talk right when the kids go down first thing and it’s been going REALLY WELL. I’ve honestly been surprised at how much closer I feel to him and how understood I feel.

I kind of knew it was going to be really good for me since my love language is quality time, but I’ve been surprised to find that Rich really, really likes it as well. In fact, he’s almost always the one who initiates it (once I gave up calling it the ’10 minute connect’ that is. We hate homework ).

Enough chit chat Celeste, how do we accomplish this magical mystery daily connect??

I thought you’d never ask!

10 Minute Daily Connect How to:

First off, set a time each day when you are both distraction-free. Rich and I sometimes do it while we’re cleaning up the kitchen together, and while this saves time, it just doesn’t have quite the same effect as when we are sitting together with our sole attention on each other.

Second off, once you’ve set your time, commit to it! There was a really interesting study that tried to measure how to motivate people to exercise. They divided their subjects into three groups: Group A was the control group, Group B was given information on the many benefits of exercise and Group C had to set a specific time and place each day to exercise.

The results?

  • 38% of Group A exercised once per week during the study.
  • 35% of Group B exercised once per week
  • and an astonishing 91% of Group C exercised once per week

What does this mean for us??  It means that me explaining these benefits of the 10 minute connect means basically nothing to you, apparently 🙁 What a shame. But more importantly, SCHEDULE IT!

No time to connect with your partner? Take the daily 10 minute connect challenge for busy couples! Each night this week, take 10 minutes to connect together. Click through for more details!

Step 1: The Good Stuff of the Day

We start out by asking some iteration of the question, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What was a success you had today?” or “What energized you today?”  We change it up, but first we ask each other what was something good that happened that day.  We celebrate each others happy moments and successes.

I’ve been surprised to find how often I find myself telling Rich little things that I wouldn’t otherwise discuss with him like blog ideas, little successes the kids had, and how much I love buying Skinnypop popcorn instead of making it myself. Important things like that.  It makes me feel so much closer to him and more involved in each others lives.

Step 2: The Hard Stuff of the Day

Then we take some time to vent to each other by asking, “What was something hard that happened today?” or “What did you struggle with today?” or “What drained you today.”

One SUPER important tip here:  This is NOT the time to give each other advice!!  Unless your spouse asks you explicitly for advice, DO NOT OFFER ANY!  This is venting time.  If you think you have a solution to a problem your spouse is going through, save it for your weekly check in.

There is something so cathartic and beautiful about knowing you will have a safe place to just get the day’s crummy stuff off your chest without fearing how your spouse will react.  Its like therapy.  Its wonderful.

Without this safe place, venting can often be confused with complaining or whining, being in a bad mood, a time to judge your spouse, or worse blaming your partner for your problems. We’ve gone through each of these. Typically when Rich would come home and vent immediately I’d be thinking, “Oh no, he’s in a bad mood. Guess we won’t be having an intimate night of connecting after all.” When really he just wanted to get something off his chest and move on.

A specific venting time can save A LOT of misinterpretations before they happen.

So, just to review, if during your connecting time your spouse vents about a co-worker do you

  • a) Say, “Well, why don’t you ask her if she can move her station elsewhere?”
  • b) Say, “Have you tried talking to your boss about it?”
  • c) Don’t say anything but think, “Aw man, he’s in a bad mood. He always gets bothered by such little things! And obviously, he should just talk to her about it.”
  • d) Look him in the eye. Listen intently, put yourself in his shoes and then say, “Aw man, that really stinks. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.”

What’d you pick?  If it was anything other than D, re-read this section and then try again.

Step 3: Pray Together

Rich and I typically save our prayers together for the worst possible time: when we’re about 10 seconds away from sleep and can’t really focus on anything other than our pillow. Our prayers are MUCH more coherent, sincere and connecting when we say them when we’re both fully conscious.

Praying together offers so many wonderful opportunities to connect deeply:

  • Showing your spouse you hear and understand their struggles (no better time to do this since you JUST heard about what they are struggling with).
  • Pleading for their cause
  • Celebrating their happiness’s
  • Expressing gratitude for them

If you are not prayers, take some time to glean these benefits by expressing your wishes and gratitude for them outright.

Step 4: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

I am such a huge fan of the 15 second kissing experiment that Ryan and Selena over at Fierce Marriage tried out.  Two of their findings when they tried to kiss each other for 15 full seconds each day include:

“It’s nearly impossible to kiss for an extended period of time and not feel closer.”


“Kissing is a gateway drug.”   – Ryan Frederick

After you kiss your spouse for 15 seconds you are about 68% more likely to engage in more intimate activities, which are, needless to say perhaps the VERY best way to connect with your spouse. (Don’t look up that statistic, it’s based off my personal research with a sample size of 1).

Similarly, the good folks over at Family, Good Things to Come talk about the benefits of a six second kissing experiment. Why six seconds? They say its “long enough to feel romantic, yet doesn’t make the kids late for school.”

You can choose how long you kiss, but I would personally recommend it be longer than five seconds.  Because, c’mon, if you can’t spare 5 seconds for your spouse, you are TOO busy!

Take the daily 10 minute connect challenge for busy couples!  Each night this week, take 10 minutes to connect and talk to each other distraction free! Click through for more details!

To re-cap, learn from our mistakes: schedule a time to connect BEFORE you watch a show (this makes you feel better about wasting time together anyway or frees you up to do your own thing) but AFTER you’ve been fed and any children are tucked away.  Listen intently and no advice giving.

That’s it!  Your challenge is to do this for 10 minutes every night this week!  Will you try it?  Please let us know how it goes in the comments!!


PS I THOUGHT I came up with this idea myself, but apparently, I unconsciously stole it from first lady, Michelle Obama who discusses the day’s ‘roses and thorns‘ around the dinner table each night.  Thanks to reader Diana for pointing this out! Also, she adds a ‘rosebud’ and says one thing they are each looking forward to for the next day- an excellent idea!  Thanks Diana!

The Weekly Marriage Check In: A Happier Marriage Week by Week

Companionship inventory, marriage meeting, weekly marriage check in or check up- whatever you call it, if you want a healthy, long lasting relationship, you should be doing it! 

One of the first posts of this site was How to Conduct a Weekly Companionship Inventory. That was almost two years ago! Its time to revisit this critical piece of marriage advice.

A Weekly Marriage Check In: Why You Need It

Marriage counselor Marcia Naomi Berger in her book, Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted gives some pretty convincing evidence that these weekly check ins yield some pretty amazing returns for the 45 minute investment they take. A few perks she lists:

  • “Marriage Meetings prevent crises by addressing concerns regularly and proactively
  • The meetings promote closure, so issues are not left hanging.
  • The direct approach prevents holding grudges.
  • Ground rules for the meetings foster respect and courtesy.
  • Marriage Meetings level the playing field for the less verbal partner.
  • They encourage collaboration, a sense of ‘we’re in this together.’
  • They foster love, teamwork, and romance.
  • Marriage Meetings bring about smoother resolution of conflicts.”

Marcia Naomi Berger

Who doesn’t want more love, collaboration and better conflict resolution in their marriage?

We call our weekly check-ins companionship inventory, and we’ve been doing it since the first month we were dating. We’re not perfect. Many weeks have gone by inventory-less. But I find during these periods where we don’t prioritize inventory, I feel more disconnected with Rich. My little issues tend to build up unaddressed and I miss how close I feel to him during our Sunday night conversations.

One of the best perks for us is just having a safe place to discuss hard things. We don’t bottle up little annoyances until they explode. If something bothers me, I file it away to discuss in inventory that week. Sitting on it for a few days tends to weed out the big issues from the little issues, so we prevent unnecessary fights mid-week over little stuff, while having a safe place to discuss the big stuff.

For the visual learners: Us without inventory:


Whiny. Snappy. It’s not pretty.

Us with inventory:


Connecting before the current drifts us apart.  Awwww.

A Weekly Marriage Check In: How to Do It

1. Choose a time when you have about an hour free each week.

We do ours Sunday nights right after our kids go to bed (we’ve found we’re too tired if we wait any longer). Brittani and Ronnie from Grace in Grey do it Saturday mornings (read about their process here). Whenever you and your spouse have an hour free- schedule it in!

2. Start with a Prayer

We’re big on prayer over here, but if you’re not, no worries- you could either skip this step or give meditation a try! There are some couples meditations I would love to try, often involving holding eye contact for a minute or more with guided thought. Check out how to do it more specifically here in this post from Mindful Couples. What a way to start connecting, right!?

3. Compliment and Express Gratitude

One inventory we had a couple of months ago we were tired and it was late so we just decided to jump right into expressing our needs while skipping over the gratitude. Whoa boy never again! I was way more defensive and offended than I otherwise would have been. We NEED those compliments.

Gratitude is like magic for a relationship. It heals hurts and softens blows. It starts the conversation on the right foot. Marriage expert John Gottman found, the tone of a conversation is determined in the first 3 minutes!

“96% of the time, you can predict the outcome of a conversation based on the first three minutes of the interaction.”   – John Gottman

Start it off right! Tell each other why you were grateful for them that week. Be specific.

4. Express needs

We all say it, we all know it, but we don’t generally act on the idea that YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT A MIND-READER! You have to say what you need. Specifically. And lovingly.

Even after eight years of inventorying I’m still learning this lesson. After one frustrating inventory (most inventories, we come out feeling much closer and more connected, but not always), Rich said, “What do you need Celeste? Tell me what you want.” And without any forethought I spouted out, “I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you appreciate what I do. I need you to say thank you for waking up with our son every morning. I need you to notice that I pick up the front room many times a day. I need to feel appreciated for making dinner. I need to feel noticed.”

It felt so good and cathartic for me to articulate that (instead of being unnecessarily bothered when he didn’t do these things without knowing he was supposed to). And with obvious relief he said, “Ok, thank you! I can do that.” (In case you’re new here- I married up. Obvs.)


End with a hug or kiss or both or some type of physical display of affection. Use your imagination.

Want a happier, healthier relationship? Give yourselves a weekly check up! Start with gratitude, then discuss your needs. Every couple needs a safe, regular place to talk about the hard stuff and prevent fights before they happen! Click through to learn how to conduct a weekly marriage check in xoxox

A Weekly Marriage Check In: Tips for Success

Actively Listen

A key ingredient to success of these weekly meetings is ACTIVE LISTENING.
The Couples Counseling Center in Chicago offers some great tips for active listening: let your partner speak without interruptions, put yourself in your partner’s shoes, don’t jump to conclusions, ask questions (not disguised as accusations), and paraphrase.

Also I love this infographic on our post “How to Better Listen to a Depressed Spouse” by about how to listen using the F.L.A.P method:

How to Better Listen to a Depressed Spouse. Focus, Lean, Affirm, Probe.

Use “I” Statements

Psychologist Nathan Cobb in his article Fair Fighting Rules for Couples says,

“It may seem easier to analyze your partner than to analyze yourself, but interpreting your partner’s thoughts, feelings and motives will distract you from identifying your own underlying issues, and will likely invite defensiveness from your spouse.
More importantly, telling your spouse what he or she thinks, believes or wants is controlling and presumptuous. It is saying that you know your spouse’s inner world better than your spouse does.”

As a perfect example to this, a member of our marriage panel, Kate, in this post on what to do when your spouse bothers you says, “I do not say, ‘you are playing too many video games, I say, ‘I am feeling unloved.'”

Ask not what your marriage can do for you, ask what you can do for your marriage

While inventory IS the safe place to discuss needs and requests, if that is the sole focal point of the meeting, no one is really going to look forward to it and you might quit after a few weeks because it will be hard and painful. Make it a time of mutual uplifting.  Make your needs known, but we’ve found its helpful to stick to picking no more than two needs per partner each week. We’ve learned from experience on this one.

A Weekly Marriage Check In: Questions to Ask

We generally stick to the main two questions from the outline:

What did I appreciate about you this week?

What needs do I have?

But after perusing the internet for some fresh new ideas for weekly inventory, also called weekly check in, weekly marriage meetings, and marriage check ups, I gained some great new ideas for questions. Here are some of my favorite:

From Jordan Grey:

  •  “Is there anything I can do for you in this moment to help you feel more comfortable or loved?
  •  Is there anything I have done in the past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?
  •  When you come home from work, what can I do or say that will make you feel the most loved?
  •  Do you think you will need more closeness or more alone time over the next couple of days?
  •  How do you feel about our sex life lately?
  •  What are the main stressors currently in your life, and is there any way I can alleviate that stress for you, if only a small amount?”  – Jordan Grey

Questions happy couples ask each other each week. Do you think you will need more closeness or more alone time over the next couple of days? How do you feel about our sex life lately? What are the main stressors currently in your life? Click through for more about conducting weekly marrige check ins:)

Dustin Wax from LifeHack:

  •  “What did you particularly enjoy that you’d like to do more of? (meals, activities, TV shows, trips out, etc.)
  •  How are you each handling your respective household duties?
  •  What is coming up that you need to be prepared for?
  •  What kind of help do you need from your partner?
  •  What issues in the house have been occupying your thoughts lately? (problems with kids, repairs needed, messiness)
  •  What’s going on at work, or coming up at work, that could affect your family life?”     – Dustin Wax

Dustin also suggests going over your schedule for the week as well as any projects you need to work on together (plan a vacation? house remodeling? help with kid’s school activity?) This would definitely help things run more smoothly through the week.

For the religiously inclined, Barrett Johnson at Info For Families offers some great ones:

  •  “What is something I did to make you feel loved this week?
  • How did I do at showing my appreciation for you?
  •  Did you see any answered prayers this past week?
  • What’s the best thing I can do to let you know that you are my priority and my joy?
  • How can I pray for you in the coming week?
  • How do you see God at work in your life?”    –  Barrett Johnson

A Weekly Marriage Check In: Let’s do this thing!

So are you sold yet? If you’re still leery, I’ll give you one more quote to seal the deal again from Jordan Grey`:

“A lot of things tend to get swept under the rug in intimate relationships. The questions outlined above are simply a tool that you can use to lift up the rug, sweep out the accumulated muck, and get on your with awesome lives as a happily connected couple.”

So try it out this week. Experiment! And let us know how it goes!

Do you already do something like this?  If so, I would LOVE to know what yours looks like and what questions you ask each other! Tell us in the comments.

PS  Be sure to check out what Rich has to say about companionship inventory
AND Diana’s post of how these weekly check ins can help while dating!

If you like this post, be sure to sign up for our monthly emails. They’re sure to give you that extra kick to keep your marriage fresh and healthy 🙂
(don’t worry, I don’t bite.  Or worse try to sell you things):