Category Archives: To do

Six Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage When You Rarely See Your Spouse

By Jessica

This post is part one of the series: How To Keep Your Marriage Strong When You Never See Your Spouse.

First up in our series, we’ve got Jessica.  The first thing you need to know about Jessica is that she is superwoman.  I’m not sure how any one woman can do so much in a day- homeschooling five kids, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, befriending strangers.  Super powers is the only explanation I can come up with.  Oh and she’s done all this while her husband Ben has been working crazy hours finishing up his medical residency/med school/MBA.  Superwoman.  I don’t often pry into people’s marriages, but I was so sure she was able to manage her marriage to that I wanted to ask her how it is done. 🙂 -Celeste

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My husband Ben and I have been married for a little over thirteen years.  We met and were married while we were undergraduate students at Brigham Young University.  We have five wonderful, rascally kids who joined our family all before my husband completed his schooling.   Two were born during undergraduate studies, two were born during medical school, and one was born during business school.  On average, we have moved every two years, and have rarely lived near family.

Throughout our marriage my husband’s schedule has fluctuated between 40-100 hours a week at school or residency training. Sometimes his schedule has seemed completely manageable, and at other times I’ve been glad to have a couple pictures of him up in the house so we don’t start to wonder what he looks like ;-).

6 ways to strengthen your marriage when you rarely see your spouse 

Now to the topic: what has helped strengthen my marriage when I rarely see my spouse? This question has caused me to ponder a lot since Celeste asked me to write about it.  I’m not sure that there’s a simple answer.  What works for one couple might not work for another. What one person considers “rarely seeing a spouse” might be different for another person.  My friend’s husband works from home, so in comparison it seems like my husband is barely ever around.  However, I have friends whose husbands are in the military and have 6-18 month deployments.  Even when my husband has a 100-hour work week, it’s better than a military deployment!

My hope is that regardless the situation, some of the things that my husband and I have tried to do to strengthen our marriage can be useful ideas for others.  Ben and I both come from families in which our parents and multiple grandparents are divorced.  Not surprisingly neither of our families was very excited when Ben and I decided to get married.  Although they were correct in their assessment that we had no comprehension of the sacrifices and stresses that accompany marriage, I can also say that there is more happiness and joy in marriage than I could have ever imagined.  Learning to live and grow with my spouse has been a great adventure.

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There have definitely been extremely busy, difficult times when I’ve thought, “I did not sign up for this!”  But to be completely honest, that has happened in every aspect of my life: parenthood, health problems, financial issues, etc.  Life is just hard – A LOT of the time!  And I’ve come to appreciate (on most days 😉 ) that if I can endure and learn from the hard things, then I grow.

I even appreciate the little joys more as I experience hard things.  Besides, what’s the alternative?  Give up when things get tough?  And specifically in the case of marriage, get divorced?  I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can say from my own limited experience that divorce didn’t fix anything.  The problems my family experienced as a result of my parents’ divorce, and continue to experience 25 years later, are real and difficult.

Ben and I are far from perfect in any of these areas, but here are some of the things that we have tried to do which have worked for us in strengthening our marriage relationship:


 1.    Include the Lord in Your Relationship

One of the first things we committed to do in our marriage was to always have the Lord be a part of our relationship.  Maybe you’ve seen the picture before of a triangle with each spouse at the bottom two vertices and the Lord at the top:

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When I remember that I want and need the help of the Lord to have a good marriage, when I try to live in a way that I can have the Spirit in my life to guide me, and when I remember that everything the Lord touches is healed, then my personal life and married life are just better.  Who doesn’t want the help of a loving Father in Heaven to soften their heart, teach them how to be better, gently remind them to repent when needed, and help them find joy in the journey of life?  Everything’s better when the Lord is a part of it, and that certainly includes marriage!

2.   Laugh Together

Humor is an important component of our marriage.  Ben and I love to laugh together.  I married my husband because he was, and continues to be, my best friend.  Along with our endless conversations (which I’ll talk about more in a moment) he always keeps me laughing.  Let’s face it, life is just tough!  So why not brighten things up with laughter?  We’ve experienced some pretty difficult things in marriage – family issues, health problems, unexpected deaths, etc., and sometimes it has just helped us to lighten things up with a little laughter. 

3.  Learn to Communicate

Communication is really important in our marriage.  Especially because my husband will have periods of time when he is rarely home, it has been important to make sure we keep each other up-to-date on each other’s lives.  We have always enjoyed discussing everything together: frustrations, hopes, fears, goals, aspirations, etc.  The ability to regularly stay connected with each other helps us get through the difficult periods when we don’t have the opportunity to talk as much.

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I’ve heard marriage compared to a bank account: you need to constantly be “depositing” good emotions/experiences so that your relationship “account” remains positive.  That way when difficult times come and you are making “withdrawals” or aren’t able to be building your relationship as much as you’d like, you have enough positives that you don’t overdraw. We have definitely had times in our marriage where I felt we were like “ships passing in the night”.  There didn’t seem to be a whole lot of strengthening going on – we were just in survival mode.  But connecting with each other as much and as often as possible helps provide some buffer during those difficult times.

Once we put the kids down at night, it’s “us” time to catch up.  If he’s at work or away, then we try to spend at least a little time talking on the phone.  During one period of time Ben was working 18-20 hours every day for a three month period.  He often wouldn’t be able to call or text during the day.  Several times a week before he left home at 3 AM, he would write a note to the kids and I.  We knew he loved us and was thinking of us even if we didn’t get to see him often.  It worked — we’re still here!  Making sure we make time to talk and communicate has kept us feeling connected and feeling like we’re a team.

4.  Serve Each Other

Finding ways to serve each other has also strengthened our marriage.  My husband is really busy, so I like to try to do as much as I can, especially around the house, to lighten his load.  That seems to help him feel less stressed.  I know different people have different ways to unwind, and specific ways of nurturing your spouse will vary based on particular circumstances and family dynamics, but find what works for you!

Whatever the service may be, finding ways to show that we are thinking of each other and loving each other has improved our relationship. There has been a small act of service that has yielded large benefits in our marriage.  With five little munchkins in our family there are a lot of dishes to do by the end of the day.  If Ben is home he drops whatever he is doing to give me a back rub while I’m washing the dishes – I LOVE it! The rate of dish washing slows down dramatically, but my back feels great once I’m done!  Our joke is that if things don’t work out in the medical field for him, he could find a job as a masseuse ;-).

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 5.  Physical Touch

That last point serves as a nice segue into something else that has helped strengthen our relationship — physical touch.  A hand hold, a hug, a kiss, or just a gentle touch can be so powerful in strengthening a marriage on a day-to-day basis.  We are human beings with physical bodies and positive, affirming touch can help us stay connected on both a physical and emotional level.  It’s a simple thing, but a hug and a kiss when Ben leaves in the morning and then again to greet him when he comes home has been important to us.

6.  Apologize

Lastly, being able to say “sorry” has definitely strengthened our marriage.  I came from a family where no one really said “I’m sorry.” If there was a disagreement it was all about who was right and who was wrong.  But after Ben and I got married he taught me a better way.  When we disagreed there was never a “right” or “wrong,” instead he’d say “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.” That completely baffled me at first — so what about who was right and who was wrong?  I learned from my husband that love can transcend seeking to win battles or arguments, and instead lead us to focus more on our spouse.  He first sought to console me and then to work out whatever differences caused the disagreement. 

We have definitely had our share of differences in opinion over the past thirteen years.  Sometimes they are resolved very quickly, and sometimes we need a little more time to ponder our own feelings and possible solutions.  But as we’ve tried to be willing to apologize and be sensitive to each other’s feelings we’ve been able to work through our differences as a team rather than adversaries on different sides of an issue.

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 This list isn’t meant to be inclusive.  There are so many different ways to improve our relationships and marriages.  These are just a few of the things that we have found helpful in our marriage.  A wise leader in our church once said, “Marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977).

While we have had struggles and difficult times in our marriage, there has been more happiness and joy than I previously thought possible.  The opportunity to face the struggles and adventures of life with my best friend by my side has been one of my greatest blessings.  My hope is that no matter where we are — on a relationship high, struggling to hold on at a low, or somewhere in between — that we give both our spouse and our marriage the chance to grow and reach their greatest potential.  Maybe that means simply tying a knot and holding on at the end of the rope, looking to the future for brighter times,  or setting some new goals as a couple. Whatever it is, happiness in married life is possible, within our reach, and oh so worth it!

Weekly Marriage Tip:  Put Your Spouse On Your To-Do List

This week’s marriage tip was inspired by my friend Michelle over at the blog Motherhood in the Major Leagues.  She posted about this video clip Spouse vs Kids:  Finding Balance in Marriage:

The speaker here is Matt Townsend, whom I had never heard of, but apparently he is a relationship expert (according to his website), so I guess we should all listen to him.  Also, how do I acquire this title?

Anyway, I likes what he has to say.  Here are his four tips on finding the balance in your marriage:

1. Find the compliment not the critique.
2. Lose the excuse that you do not have time. Invest your time it what really matters.
3. Focus on the important and not the urgent.
4. You have to get time together on the schedule. Every single day. If it’s not on the schedule, it’s not going to happen!

This last point particularly resonated with me.  I keep foolishly thinking that Rich and I will have all this bonding time together every night once the kids are down, but then, wouldn’t you know it, we tend to have other demands/desires/twitter feeds.  Basically, unless we specifically plan an activity to do together, it’s very easy for us not to spend any time together.

I’ve been talking to some of my friends about what a struggle it is to get anything done with little kids in the house.  And also about how easy it is to feel like you haven’t accomplished anything all day because we often weigh our productivity by our to-do lists.  Kids massacre to-do lists.  One of my friends said she started writing down specific things on her to-do lists to do with her kids that day to remind herself that her kids are a priority too.  So along with fold the laundry, sign the kids up for camp and go to the bank, she’ll write read to Libby, play chess with Xander, etc.  Then you can feel productive at the end of the day and keep priorities in check.

I like this idea with marriage too.  Stick that spouse of yours into your to-do list!  Plan out specific activities together and write it down. Because, as I’ve said before, if you leave free time unchecked, it will sprout legs and walk itself to the nearest screen faster than you can say, “what to do you want to do tonight?”

How to Make Valentine’s Day Romantic When You’ve Procrastinated Planning Valentine’s Day

By Celeste

If you’re anything like me, your week went something like this:

Monday:  Grocery shopping- am I forgetting something this week?
Tuesday: Oh look Valentine’s Day is this week.  It’s so far away, I’m sure I’ll think of something to do for it.
Wednesday:  Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be planning?
Thursday:  Oh shoot, Valentine’s Day is in two days!  Ok, I’ll get on this first thing tomorrow.
Friday:  Dangit!  It’s tomorrow.  Let’s google this thing.  Pinterest!  Why are all of your ideas so crafty?!?!
Saturday:  Right, ok, it’s today.  What’s something I can do/make that looks like it took a lot of effort and planning, but be accomplished really fast?

So let’s see, I haven’t made reservations at some awesome restaurant, I haven’t written him 30 amazing love letters (yet), I haven’t filled lots of balloons with awesome memories of us, what’s the lazy/procrastinating couple to do on V-day?

Watch a movie of course!  In fact, you should watch a movie whether you are the procrastinating type or not because hello, it’s the one day a year when your husband HAS to watch a chick flick with you.  He has to!  It’s the Valentine’s Day law.

But watching a movie, that’s nothing new, you need to make it a little more romantic.

Here are three ways to spice up your Valentine’s Day movie:

1.  Twinkle Fort!!!

Ok, I know this one SEEMS like it is going to take a lot of effort, but really it won’t.  Plus, it’s romantic as all get out.  I dare you to watch a movie under a twinkle fort with your spouse and not feel romantic.  Can’t be done.  Even in a mediocre to poorly constructed twinkle fort- something about those lights . . .

Here’s what you’ll need to do to create this twinkling fortress of love:

    • Go to your Christmas decorations and retrieve stringed lights- any kind will do.
    • Get some duct tape, tacks and some scissors unless you work out and can rip the duct tape with your own hands like some kind of animal.
    • Go to your bed.  Start duct taping and tacking the stringed lights up in a zig zag pattern a few feet above your bed.  High enough that you can sit up in the fort, not high enough that your arms will be sore tomorrow.
    • Get a big sheet (maybe two, depending on the length of your bed and strength of your duct taping/tacking job) and drape it across the top.
    • Ta-da!  You’ve constructed a Nicholas Sparks-worthy masterpiece that should look something like this

     

 

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Note: This was last year when I was pregnant. I am not pregnant now. It is important to me that you know this.
Unless you are far better at constructing twinkle forts (and taking pictures) than I, in which case it will look something like this:
Via Self
*Note, I’ve constructed a twinkle fort twice now since my kids have been old enough to remember it and they LOVE it.  They read books under that thing for hours.  They cried for a good while when I took it down. So, parenting win and spousing win.  Twinkle forts turns everyone into a winner.

2.  Bath Tub Movie

Our bath tub is nothing to write home about.  It’s small and it should probably be scrubbed far more often than it is.  (sidenote: my friend Shelly was once telling me a story that began, “whenever I am scrubbing the bathtub, my kid always __” and I secretly thought WHENEVER you scrub the bathtub?!  You scrub the bathtub so often your kids have formed habits around it??  My poor kids have no bathtub scrubbing rituals)  BUT scrubbed or not- your bathtub can still transform into an ideal romantic movie viewing station with the following steps:

  1. At least consider scrubbing the tub.
  2. Add LOTS of bubble bath
  3. Candles!!  So important.  So romantic.
  4. Champagne or sparkling cider.

Even if your tub is too small for you to comfortably enjoy an entire movie, at least start out there, it will set the mood perfectly.

I don’t have a picture of my own tub (that might kill the romantic vibe we’ve got going on, what with it’s non-scrubbyness), but if you have a nice bathroom and a nice camera, yours could look something like this:

3.  Turn your bedroom into a honey moon suite

This idea is basically a combo of #1 and #2.  No, it’s not a water bed, although, in the 90s those were pretty darn romantic.  But basically, take the romantic items needed for #2 and put them in your bedroom.  Pretend you are transforming your room into a honey moon suite at a hotel- what would you need??  Rose petals, candles, nice music, champagne/sparkling cider, maybe some balloons.  This set up isn’t actually hard to construct, but it shows some forethought and will make your chick flick SO much chick flickier.  Which is a good thing.  On Valentine’s Day.

I realize I am posting this ON Valentine’s Day, but I’m guessing you, the procrastinating reader would appreciate me, the procrastinating writer, writing in true procrastinating fashion.  We make a good team you and I .  But again, just because we procrastinate shouldn’t stop us from creating a wonderful night with our spouse.  So, go confine your spouse to another room and construct the romantic fortress of your choice.

Weekly Marriage Tip:  The 15 Second Kiss

By Celeste

I thought it might be fun to share a short little marriage tip every week that I find online or elsewhere.

This week, it’s the 15 second kiss from the blog Fierce Marriage.  The challenge is pretty much what it sounds like. . . kiss your spouse for 15 seconds everyday for a week.

Pretty simple right?

The thing about kissing is, as it says in the article, “It’s nearly impossible to kiss for an extended period of time and not feel closer.”

Long kissing- it’s good for marital bonding.  Read what Ryan and Selena learned from their 15 second kiss experiment here.

And more kissing, less blogging about kissing . . .

Have any of you ever tried this??  Thoughts?  Experiences? 

A Year of Creative Dates: Thinking Outside the Box

By Shelly Lopez

If you have come seeking creative date ideas, you have come to the right place.  Shelly and Jershon are the most fun, creative couple I know.  It is a pure delight to hang out with them and participate in some of their creative genius.  I feel like most date nights Rich and I are “too tired” to think of something creative.  Good thing we have such great friends to remind us that creativity does take more energy but it is so worth it to have fun and awesome memories with your spouse.

Also Shelly is all-knowing about all things always.  She is endlessly inspiring, giving and wise.  And she’s moving away from me this month!! Waaa 🙁  How does anybody live without Shelly???  I don’t think I can do it.  Anyway, creativity onward.  – Celeste

A Year of Creative Dates from the MASTERS of creative dates: Shelly and Jershon

[Note: This is not Shelly or Jershon. I do not know these people, but they give off a certain Shelly/Jershon aura I felt was appropriate for this post]
“I think I like him.”
“I wish I knew if he liked me or not…”
“He talked to me!  Aaaaaaa!!!  This is getting serious….”
“Does he LIKE ME like me? … or is he just being nice?”
“I wish I could read his mind to see what he really thinks of me.”
“Yay!  He asked me out!”
“Yay!  He asked me out again!”
“A walk?  What does he want to go on a walk for?”
“I’m so bummed.  He wants to take a break.”
“Yay!  He wants to date again!”
“What… another walk?”
“Ok, fine, we’ll break up for real this time.”
……………..”Oooo, he’s cute!”

These are just a handful of real thoughts that I had while playing the dating game during college.  And what a stressful, brutal, heartbreaking, exciting, fun game that was.  I join the masses of married people who express the thought of “Phew!  I’m so glad to be done with the dating phase of life.  Playing those games can be so exhausting.”

But although I may be past the stage of looking for a husband, I am definitely not done dating.  Quite the contrary actually.  Getting married was the beginning of the most important dating relationship of my life.

Continuing to date your spouse after marriage is extremely important. In a sense, your wife should be your forever girlfriend and your husband your forever boyfriend.  The dating should not decrease or stop after marriage.  If anything, it should increase and be even more consistent than before.

My husband, Jershon, is really creative.  So when we were dating before we got married, our dates were really fun and not your average “dinner and a movie.”  We did usually have a meal together (at a restaurant or one we cooked together) but after the meal we did fun things like painting a mural on an old door, taking fake engagement pictures, visiting a Catholic Cathedral, going on a tree tour on our college campus, and painting a collage of our previous dates on a plate.

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After we got married, we continued to do creative things on our dates every once in a while.  We probably would have done even more if I was always feeling adventurous and open to Jershon’s ideas. If I’m not careful, I can keep myself from having fun by rejecting his date ideas.  Some of the best dates that we’ve done together have been things that are a bit outside of my comfort zone or something that I definitely wouldn’t have picked to do on my own.

One of these dates (and the one that I still look back on with fond and hilarious memories) is from September 2009.  I was 35 weeks pregnant with our first son.  Jershon somehow had the creative idea to blow up and print pictures of two people’s faces that we thought looked similar.  We ended up choosing Tom Cruise and my cousin Nathan.  We blew them up, cropped the picture to just include the head, and then made them into masks.  Then we walked around our college campus taking pictures of us in random places and with random objects.  I remember laughing so hard during this date.

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Another favorite date was making this stop motion video after we put our kids to bed a few years ago.  Jershon had the idea to do a series of jumping pictures and make it look like we were floating around the room.  We took over 600 pictures…that means we jumped A LOT.  We were really sweaty by the end.  Ha ha.  After we took the pictures, we put the movie together and Jershon “composed” the song on Garageband.
I wouldn’t say that we are artists but Jershon and I do like to create artwork together occasionally. Jershon is a master stenciler so we decided to make an Andy Warhol inspired grouping of canvases to hang above our couch (September 2012.)  Jershon made the stencils of our faces and then we spray painted them onto some canvases that we had painted.  This was a really fun project to do together and it has been a great conversation starter for people that come to our house.
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Another hilarious one is when Jershon thought it would be fun to recreate a picture of his parents.  I was pregnant with our second son and ended up laughing so hard that I threw up!
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One that wasn’t so successful was when Jershon came up with the idea to shoot spit balls at each other’s faces.  I don’t know why I agreed to this, but I must have been feeling supportive at the moment.  We sat across the couch from each other, got some straws, some little wads of paper, and you can imagine the rest.  Let’s just say that it didn’t last long because I almost threw up!  Not from laughing this time. But still the memory of that little five minute home date is priceless.  🙂

We have also turned gift giving occasions into dates.  When we were first married we wrote songs for a few of our family members and sang to them on their birthday.  Jershon taught me how to play a few chords on the Ukulele and with our very limited (or lack) of musical talent, we would perform the song.  We had a lot of fun doing this and named ourselves the LoDown.

Another date was making a Christmas present for my dad (December 2011).  We wanted to make a little clay sculpture of my dad wearing his signature clothes.  We call it the Lloyd Doll.
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We have used our dates to make many other presents for friends and family.

I give all these examples to illustrate that Jershon and I have tried to make dating a priority since we got married. Having kids (we have three) has definitely made it more challenging though.  Over the past couple years we have fallen into the habit of doing the same type of date (going to dinner) over and over again and our dates were getting a little bit monotonous.  It was still fun to go out together but the agenda (usually just a restaurant) was never planned until two seconds before we left.  We still had a good time but we both recognized that doing planned, creative, fun (and sometimes humorous) things for our dates really strengthens our marriage and adds a spark to our relationship.  I love seeing Jershon get excited about an idea.  I also love being reminded of some reasons that I fell in love with him in the first place.

This resolution was sparked because of the gift that I decided to give my brother and sister-in-law for Christmas a few weeks ago – “A Year of Dates”.  I sent them packets for planned/paid for dates for each month – one night out and one home date.  I have actually only sent them two so far (December – which was a little getaway for their anniversary) and January.  I will be sending their other packets at the end of the previous month.

As I was planning and preparing the date information and ideas for my brother and sister-in-law, Jershon was sneakily planning some of his own!  He ended up surprising me on our anniversary (which is a few days before Christmas) with a year of dates of our own!  He presented me with a calendar where he had written out a brief description for a date on every Friday for this entire year!   That’s 52 dates that have already been planned and are waiting for us. 🙂

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I was so happy that he had copied the gift that I gave to my brother and sister-in-law, but he made it even better because that guy definitely has the creative gene!  He can really think outside the box when it comes to date ideas so I’m glad he took the time to come up with a ton and plan them out so we don’t have to fall into the “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” rut again.

Some of these date ideas are long.  Some are short.  Some require some planning ahead to buy supplies.  Some are free.  Some require going out.  Some are home dates.  All are guaranteed to strengthen our marriage. 🙂

When he was researching ideas he found very few that appealed to him and were creative/unique enough.  So he just started brainstorming ideas of his own.  He came up with way more than the 52 that he needed for the calendar.  So he started a date ideas spreadsheet/database.

I don’t say all of this to brag.  Ok, who am I kidding… it’s hard not to brag about my husband.  He is amazing.  I can’t get enough of that guy. 🙂

But I do say all of this to emphasize how important dating your spouse is and how fun it can really be with a little thought and preparation.

Here is the list of dates that we will be doing this year…

A Year of Creative Dates:

  1. Make our own record player, buy some old records
  2. Play dungeons and dragons
  3. Dress up as ninjas and prowl campus
  4. Make a family handbook
  5. Knit a hat
  6. Watercolor painting
  7. Learn how to massage
  8. Make a lamp from something cool
  9. Yodeling
  10. Learn lock picking
  11. Learn Jiu-Jitsu
  12. Learn and practice photography principles
  13. Make jewelry
  14. Write our bucket list
  15. Make a fire without matches
  16. Learn to draw portraits
  17. Recreate dating/engagement pictures
  18. Make a clock out of something cool
  19. Wood carving, make a relief
  20. Buy and fly a drone
  21. Random secret Santa on a budget
  22. Plan our dream home
  23. Play a new 2 player board game
  24. Find a small mom and pop shop, make friends, buy stuff
  25. Learn CPR
  26. Make our own constellation, stargaze, and eat snacks
  27. Make a piñata
  28. Bookbinding
  29. Pinterest re-purpose project
  30. Do street magic
  31. Make wooden rings
  32. Rock balancing competition
  33. Home spa
  34. Gourmet cooking
  35. At-home photo shoot
  36. Learn to step, make video
  37. Bird watching
  38. Record a video for our posterity
  39. Visit someone lonely
  40. Learn calligraphy, lettering
  41. Prepare exotic cultural dish
  42. Watch an academic lecture online
  43. Wash someone’s car
  44. Bury some treasure, make treasure map for someone
  45. Learn to salsa
  46. Paper craft a deer head
  47. Rake leaves for someone
  48. Voice lessons online
  49. Balancing competition, coin stacking, card stacking
  50. Make a care package for someone
  51. Knife throwing
  52. Plan our dream vacation

Feel free to join us on this year of dates journey by copying these ideas or coming up with your own!

A Few More Dating Suggestions:

  • Dress to impress!  Ask yourself “Would I wear this if I were going on a date in college?”  
  • A good date with your spouse doesn’t have to be expensive.  Leaving the house isn’t always required either.  Planning ahead (leaving some room for spontaneity) and being creative are key.   
  • Have fun!  Be a good sport if you weren’t the one to plan the date.  You might be surprised by how much fun you end up having.  Like I said, if I’m not careful, I can miss out and keep myself from having fun by rejecting my husband’s date ideas.
  • Take pictures!  Enjoy keeping a record of your dates.  This is something we are trying to improve on.  
  • Turn regular nights into “date nights” (play a board game, just sit and chat, answer “newly wed game” questions, use a conversation jar, etc.)  
  • Make going to bed together a priority.  Pillow talk conversation time before falling asleep can be like a mini date every night.