A Free Gift Your Spouse Will LOVE

Looking for a Christmas gift you KNOW your spouse will love?  Try thinking of something they keep asking you do to and then make a plan to do it!  

What are you getting your spouse this year for Christmas??

If you don’t yet have an answer to that question, DON’T DESPAIR!  I too, often procrastinate my gift selections.   And I too, like to be thrifty yet thoughtful in my gift giving.

This year get your spouse something free they will actually love:  an act of selfless sacrifice tailor made for what they will appreciate most.   Here’s four steps on how to do that:

 

1.  Think of Something You Know Your Spouse Would Like You to Improve

Brainstorm with me for a minute.  Think of something your spouse is always nagging you about.  Hmm, “nagging” has a bad connotation.  Think of something your spouse frequently reminds you of.  🙂  Or something you know they would like for you to improve on – a quality, a habit, anything.  If your spouse HAD to change something about you what would it be?  (Side note: Don’t ask them that.)

I’ll give you a minute to think of something.  Go with your gut instinct here.

To assist in your brainstorming, here are a few suggestions from an article listing the top 20 things wives nag their husbands about:

  • chores
  • budgeting
  • not listening
  • leaving dirty dishes out and
  • watching too much sports (too many sports?  I don’t watch the sports.)

And here are some suggestions from the top 20 things husbands nag their wives about:

  •  intimacy
  • being late
  • nagging 🙂
  • throwing out their things
  • shopping

If you can’t think of anything, congratulations on your perfect marriage!  Scratch the thoughtful Christmas gift and come talk to me after class about guest posting on my marriage blog.  For the rest of us . . . keep reading.

Looking for a Christmas gift you KNOW your partner will love? Try thinking of something they keep asking you do to and then make a plan to do it! Click through to read how to package this selfless service.

2.  Come up with a Concrete Plan on How You Will Improve on That Thing

A few examples:

  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is less time in front of a screen:  Come up with a set plan on how and when you will cut back.  Maybe turn off your phone and shut the computer everyday from the hours of 5 – 7pm to focus on your family.  Or maybe you choose one night a week – maybe Wednesday – where there will be no screens on and you will just spend time with your spouse talking or playing a game.
  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is helping out more around the house:  Make a chore chart!  One of out guest posters outlined one here (although that is for her AND her spouse, maybe don’t give your spouse chores for their Christmas gift).  Print out a Google calendar and fill it in with what chores you’ll do on what days, and outline what time each day you will do them.  Be specific.
  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is being on time:  Write out your plan for accomplishing this.  Tell your spouse that you will buy a kitchen timer (Those things are way better for productivity than cell phone timers.  You can hear that click-y noise and see the time ticking away.  It focuses you.).  Say, “I will buy the timer and when I am getting ready, I will set it to go off 10 minutes BEFORE we have to leave the house.  At that time I will have my shoes, coat and bag on and be waiting by the door.”  (Rich is so wishing this will be his Christmas present this year . . . )(Note from Rich: yes.)

3.  Record Your Plan

This is a free gift, so in order for your spouse to be duly impressed put some effort into the presentation.  Make an Excel spreadsheet, a PowerPoint presentation, make a poster, get an app for whatever goal you’re trying to accomplish.  You don’t have to be artistic or creative, but you should show that you put a lot of thought and effort into it.

4.  Set up Some Accountability and Deadlines For Your Plan

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been given a “coupon booklet” as a gift (you know- “this coupon good for one free back rub” or car wash or whatever) that ended up just sitting around unused.  *Raises hand*  This is not the unused coupon booklet.

For this to be a good gift, you have to be completely determined to accomplish your plan.  To do that, set up some sort of accountability.  You can be creative here and involve a parent, sibling, friend, neighbor to follow up in some way.  Or you can keep it between you and your spouse.  Offer a good reward to your spouse if you fall short of one of your goals or deadlines.

For example in the chore example, if you fail to do your chores one week, you owe your spouse a night out or chocolate or an extra night of dishes.  Something your spouse will want to cash in on.  One thing Rich offered me for a gift once was that I got full deciding privileges on what show we watch for four nights.  That was a great one for me 🙂  Rich just loves those Gilmore Girls . . . (Note from Rich: no)

So.  This year instead of spending more money on some clothes or an electronics gadget (or maybe in addition to) get your spouse the gift of showing them you love them enough to really sacrifice something hard for them.  Show them you really do listen and want to make their lives easier and better by improving things that bother them.  Give them the gift of selfless service.

They will LOVE it.

I promise.

How to Make Valentine’s Day Romantic When You’ve Procrastinated Planning Valentine’s Day

By Celeste

If you’re anything like me, your week went something like this:

Monday:  Grocery shopping- am I forgetting something this week?
Tuesday: Oh look Valentine’s Day is this week.  It’s so far away, I’m sure I’ll think of something to do for it.
Wednesday:  Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be planning?
Thursday:  Oh shoot, Valentine’s Day is in two days!  Ok, I’ll get on this first thing tomorrow.
Friday:  Dangit!  It’s tomorrow.  Let’s google this thing.  Pinterest!  Why are all of your ideas so crafty?!?!
Saturday:  Right, ok, it’s today.  What’s something I can do/make that looks like it took a lot of effort and planning, but be accomplished really fast?

So let’s see, I haven’t made reservations at some awesome restaurant, I haven’t written him 30 amazing love letters (yet), I haven’t filled lots of balloons with awesome memories of us, what’s the lazy/procrastinating couple to do on V-day?

Watch a movie of course!  In fact, you should watch a movie whether you are the procrastinating type or not because hello, it’s the one day a year when your husband HAS to watch a chick flick with you.  He has to!  It’s the Valentine’s Day law.

But watching a movie, that’s nothing new, you need to make it a little more romantic.

Here are three ways to spice up your Valentine’s Day movie:

1.  Twinkle Fort!!!

Ok, I know this one SEEMS like it is going to take a lot of effort, but really it won’t.  Plus, it’s romantic as all get out.  I dare you to watch a movie under a twinkle fort with your spouse and not feel romantic.  Can’t be done.  Even in a mediocre to poorly constructed twinkle fort- something about those lights . . .

Here’s what you’ll need to do to create this twinkling fortress of love:

    • Go to your Christmas decorations and retrieve stringed lights- any kind will do.
    • Get some duct tape, tacks and some scissors unless you work out and can rip the duct tape with your own hands like some kind of animal.
    • Go to your bed.  Start duct taping and tacking the stringed lights up in a zig zag pattern a few feet above your bed.  High enough that you can sit up in the fort, not high enough that your arms will be sore tomorrow.
    • Get a big sheet (maybe two, depending on the length of your bed and strength of your duct taping/tacking job) and drape it across the top.
    • Ta-da!  You’ve constructed a Nicholas Sparks-worthy masterpiece that should look something like this

     

 

Picture

Note: This was last year when I was pregnant. I am not pregnant now. It is important to me that you know this.
Unless you are far better at constructing twinkle forts (and taking pictures) than I, in which case it will look something like this:
Via Self
*Note, I’ve constructed a twinkle fort twice now since my kids have been old enough to remember it and they LOVE it.  They read books under that thing for hours.  They cried for a good while when I took it down. So, parenting win and spousing win.  Twinkle forts turns everyone into a winner.

2.  Bath Tub Movie

Our bath tub is nothing to write home about.  It’s small and it should probably be scrubbed far more often than it is.  (sidenote: my friend Shelly was once telling me a story that began, “whenever I am scrubbing the bathtub, my kid always __” and I secretly thought WHENEVER you scrub the bathtub?!  You scrub the bathtub so often your kids have formed habits around it??  My poor kids have no bathtub scrubbing rituals)  BUT scrubbed or not- your bathtub can still transform into an ideal romantic movie viewing station with the following steps:

  1. At least consider scrubbing the tub.
  2. Add LOTS of bubble bath
  3. Candles!!  So important.  So romantic.
  4. Champagne or sparkling cider.

Even if your tub is too small for you to comfortably enjoy an entire movie, at least start out there, it will set the mood perfectly.

I don’t have a picture of my own tub (that might kill the romantic vibe we’ve got going on, what with it’s non-scrubbyness), but if you have a nice bathroom and a nice camera, yours could look something like this:

3.  Turn your bedroom into a honey moon suite

This idea is basically a combo of #1 and #2.  No, it’s not a water bed, although, in the 90s those were pretty darn romantic.  But basically, take the romantic items needed for #2 and put them in your bedroom.  Pretend you are transforming your room into a honey moon suite at a hotel- what would you need??  Rose petals, candles, nice music, champagne/sparkling cider, maybe some balloons.  This set up isn’t actually hard to construct, but it shows some forethought and will make your chick flick SO much chick flickier.  Which is a good thing.  On Valentine’s Day.

I realize I am posting this ON Valentine’s Day, but I’m guessing you, the procrastinating reader would appreciate me, the procrastinating writer, writing in true procrastinating fashion.  We make a good team you and I .  But again, just because we procrastinate shouldn’t stop us from creating a wonderful night with our spouse.  So, go confine your spouse to another room and construct the romantic fortress of your choice.

A FREE Homemade Christmas Gift Your Spouse Will Actually LOVE!

By Celeste

There is less than a week until Christmas!!!  How did that happen?!?!

What are you getting your spouse this year for Christmas??

If you don’t yet have an answer to that question, DON’T DESPAIR!  I too, often procrastinate my gift selections.   And I too, like to be thrifty yet thoughtful in my gift giving.

This year, get your spouse something free they will actually love:  an act of selfless sacrifice for them.   Here’s four steps on how to do that:

This year why not give your spouse something they will totally love: a gift of selfless service from you. Choose something you know your spouse would like you to improve on and make a plan to change!!

1.  Think of Something You Know Your Spouse Would Like You to Improve

Brainstorm with me for a minute.  Think of something your spouse is always nagging you about.  Hmm, “nagging” has a bad connotation.  Think of something your spouse frequently reminds you of.  🙂  Or something you know they would like for you to improve on – a quality, a habit, anything.  If your spouse HAD to change something about you what would it be?  (Side note: Don’t ask them that.)

I’ll give you a minute to think of something.  Go with your gut instinct here.

To assist in your brainstorming, here are a few suggestions from an article listing the top 20 things wives nag their husbands about:  chores, budgeting, not listening, leaving dirty dishes out and watching too much sports (too many sports?  I don’t watch the sports.).  And here are some suggestions from the top 20 things husbands nag their wives about:  intimacy, being late, nagging :), throwing out their things and shopping.

If you can’t think of anything, congratulations on your perfect marriage!  Scratch the thoughtful Christmas gift and come talk to me after class about guest posting on my marriage blog.  For the rest of us . . . keep reading.

2.  Come up with a Concrete Plan on How You Will Improve on That Thing

A few examples:

  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is less time in front of a screen:  Come up with a set plan on how and when you will cut back.  Maybe turn off your phone and shut the computer everyday from the hours of 5 – 7pm to focus on your family.  Or maybe you choose one night a week – maybe Wednesday – where there will be no screens on and you will just spend time with your spouse talking or playing a game.
  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is helping out more around the house:  Make a chore chart!  One of out guest posters outlined one here (although that is for her AND her spouse, maybe don’t give your spouse chores for their Christmas gift).  Print out a Google calendar and fill it in with what chores you’ll do on what days, and outline what time each day you will do them.  Be specific.
  • If the thing your spouse would like you to improve on is being on time:  Write out your plan for accomplishing this.  Tell your spouse that you will buy a kitchen timer (Those things are way better for productivity than cell phone timers.  You can hear that click-y noise and see the time ticking away.  It focuses you.).  Say, “I will buy the timer and when I am getting ready, I will set it to go off 10 minutes BEFORE we have to leave the house.  At that time I will have my shoes, coat and bag on and be waiting by the door.”  (Rich is so wishing this will be his Christmas present this year . . . )(Note from Rich: yes.)



3.  Record Your Plan

This is a free gift, so in order for your spouse to be duly impressed put some effort into the presentation.  Make an Excel spreadsheet, a PowerPoint presentation, make a poster, get an app for whatever goal you’re trying to accomplish.  You don’t have to be artistic or creative, but you should show that you put a lot of thought and effort into it.

4.  Set up Some Accountability and Deadlines For Your Plan

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been given a “coupon booklet” as a gift (you know- “this coupon good for one free back rub” or car wash or whatever) that ended up just sitting around unused.  *Raises hand*  This is not the unused coupon booklet.

For this to be a good gift, you have to be completely determined to accomplish your plan.  To do that, set up some sort of accountability.  You can be creative here and involve a parent, sibling, friend, neighbor to follow up in some way.  Or you can keep it between you and your spouse.  Offer a good reward to your spouse if you fall short of one of your goals or deadlines.

For example in the chore example, if you fail to do your chores one week, you owe your spouse a night out or chocolate or an extra night of dishes.  Something your spouse will want to cash in on.  One thing Rich offered me for a gift once was that I got full deciding privileges on what show we watch for four nights.  That was a great one for me 🙂  Rich just loves those Gilmore Girls . . . (Note from Rich: no)

So.  This year instead of spending more money on some clothes or an electronics gadget (or maybe in addition to) get your spouse the gift of showing them you love them enough to really sacrifice something hard for them.  Show them you really do listen and want to make their lives easier and better by improving things that bother them.  Give them the gift of selfless service.

They will LOVE it.

I promise.