100 Love Note Prompts (Best Gift Ever!)

Best list of love note prompts on the Internet! Guaranteed to fill your partner’s love tank.

A few years ago, Rich spent two months in Brazil for work.

Since we had two little kids (and I was pregnant!) and alone, our connection normally would have taken a big hit during this time.

Rich was busy and stressed with the responsibility of getting all his experiments to work in rural conditions. I was busy and stressed with a one year old and a three year old.

But despite the busyness, despite the stress we both felt, this two-month was a period of our marriage where we connected more deeply than maybe ever before.

Say WHAT?!

Why?

Two words:

LOVE NOTES!

Rich had the amazing idea to send love letters to each other every day we were separated.

I was SORELY disappointed at what Google had to offer us at the time in ways of love note prompts, so we made up our own.

Some creative, some touching, some reminiscing, others silly.

The list below includes those prompts along with many others we’ve used through the years.

All tried and tested.

All will strengthen your connection to your spouse, guaranteed.

And these aren’t just for when you are apart.

Here are just a few ideas of how to use these love note prompts:

How to Use the Love Note Prompts:

Each year on your anniversary, write them a love letter for each year you’ve been married (use 5 love letter prompts to fill out 5 love letters on your 5th anniversary, 15 on your 15th, etc).
Declare a month of love letters. Pick 30 of your favorite prompts and email your answer to your partner, one each day for the whole month! Think of how full their love tank would be at the end of the month!!
When your partner is feeling down, or you’re in a rut in your marriage, make it a week of love. Pick 7 favorite prompts and text them the answer to the prompts one a day for a week.
Buy a cute notebook. Take a few days or weeks or months to copy and fill out all 100 prompts, then give it to your spouse for an anniversary, birthday Valentine’s day or Christmas present. Wow! What a gift!!
If you are going to be out of town or separated for a chunk of time, start from the top and email each other your answers to the prompts one per day. (Rich and I did this when he was in Brazil for 2 months and our marriage had never been better even though we were apart!)
Go old school and MAIL your partner a love letter (yes even if you live together, everyone loves getting an actual letter in the mail) each week!
Write out 10 love letters using the prompts and seal them each separately in an envelope. For a birthday gift or just when your partner needs some love, hide the letters around the house- in drawers, in their coat pocket, in their car, in the fridge, sky is the limit. How fun to find each one.
Fill out one love letter prompt per day for 14 days leading up to Valentine’s Day. We do this each year on Marriage Laboratory. You can follow along (and get the free printables here, here and here)

100 Love Note Prompts:

Describe a meaningful gift you’ve received from your partner.
When did you first know you were falling in love?
What is something you are proud of your partner for overcoming?
Describe a favorite vacation you’ve taken together.
What is a life lesson you’ve learned from being with your partner?
Reminisce about some of the best stay-at-home dates you’ve had.
What activity makes you feel closest to your partner?
If you were to create a couple’s bucket list- what would be on it?
What are three things your partner does that make you feel loved?
What song reminds you of your partner? Why? Write out the lyrics.
Describe a favorite movie-watching experience with your partner.
What life events have brought you closer together? Maybe even unexpectedly?
What is your favorite outfit of your partner’s? Which outfit brings back fond memories?
What is a text message or email your partner has sent lately that made you feel loved?
What is something your partner does that gets you in the mood?
Describe a time you thought your partner was an especially hard worker.
How is your spouse different from others you’ve dated in the past?
Name a fear you’ve seen your partner overcome.
Tell about a fun memory from your honeymoon. Or the best vacation you’ve had together.
What are your favorite three ways your partner shows you they love you?
Describe a time in your history where you were not on the same page as your partner and then how you resolved that together.
Tell your partner something about yourself that you’ve never told them before.
In what ways is your partner easy to live with?
Have you ever experienced a miracle together? What was it?
If you have an unscheduled lazy, Saturday afternoon, what would be your favorite way to pass the time with your partner?
How has your partner spoken your love language recently? Throughout your relationship?
What milestones are you most looking forward to in your future together?
What is the worst meal you’ve had together that you can laugh about now?
What was a time you felt perfectly understood by your partner?
When was a time your partner honored one of your dreams?
Describe a favorite memory you have with another couple.
If you could make one wish for your partner’s future what would it be?
Who is your partner’s celebrity doppleganger? List one for looks and another for personality.
Has your partner ever given you butterflies in your stomach? Describe when.
List your top five reasons you are most grateful to be together with your partner.
Type out your earliest memories of each other.
Go back and re-send some of your earliest emails and texts or transcribe early notes and letters.
Word association. Open a book- the nearest one to you will work. Flip it open at random, close your eyes and point to a word on the page. Write down the word and a random memory or thought you have with or about your partner associated with that word.
Provide a detailed description of how your partner has made you a better person.
What song would you describe as “your song” together with your partner? Write about how and why it became your song.
Write about all the things you miss about having your partner with you when they are out of town.
When was a time you felt perfectly accepted, despite your flaws, by your partner?
Describe various dream dates – a dream romantic date, fun date, expensive date, etc.
Write out your love story as a short story.
Write out a quote from a book that reminds you of your partner. Explain why.
Explain why you love your partner now and why you loved them at the beginning of your relationship. Any differences? Similarities?
Describe little moments in the day TODAY when you missed them/thought of them/were grateful for them that day.
Play two truths and a lie.
List a few times in your life you wish you would have had your partner with you.
Dream time. Describe what you will be doing with your partner in two years, five years, ten years, twenty years.
Talk about your favorite scripture or inspirational quote that makes you think of your partner.
Pitch a movie about your love story complete with tag line and description.
Write an acrostic poem for your names.
You have a time machine. Which points in your partner’s life would you go back and visit- just as an observer?
Talk about a favorite trip you took together.
Write about times or things in your relationship/marriage that were disappointing or awful and then how you got over them or learned from them.
Plan out real future date nights you want to go on this year.
Reminisce about the first time you said, “I love you.”
Write about how your partner has changed you since you’ve met them. Be specific.
Talk about traits you think you’ve inherited from your parents and what traits your partner has inherited from theirs.
Write a short poem about your partner (could be silly, could be serious, lean into the awkward).
Record all first impressions of each other you can remember.
Top 10 lists: Top 10 favorite memories together, Top 10 moments I loved you most, Top 10 events I’m looking forward to spending with you this year, Top 10 reasons I love you.
Fill out these Newly Wed Game questions. Answer them for both you and your spouse. Have your spouse do the same. Compare answers.
What characteristics of your partner do you hope your children will inherit? If you don’t have kids, what would you hope a hypothetical child would inherit from your partner?
Write about the funniest memory you have together.
Since you’ve been together, has your partner challenged any preconceptions you had about life?
If you had to commit a crime together, what would it be? Aliases encouraged.
What about your partner do you feel you know the least about? What about yourself do you think your partner knows the least about?
If you could go back and give yourself advice about marriage when you were dating, what would you say? What have you learned?
Transform your story into a Disney-esque fairy tale. Start with once upon a time . . .
What are the physical aspects of your spouse you find most attractive?
What do you think your partner’s greatest strengths and talents are?
Share a childhood memory you’ve never shared with them before.
When did you first know they were the one for you? How?
What is a skill they’ve developed that they should be proud of?
What makes your partner different from everyone else?
When was a time they made you blush? (in a good way)
Tell how they make you feel good about yourself (be specific).
What is something your partner does that you think is sexy?
When is a time you were very proud to be with your partner?
What have they helped you accept about yourself? How?
What are a few little things they do that just make you smile?
Describe a date you’ve been on when you had a lot of fun.
If you could go back in time, what would you tell them about how awesome they turn out?
What is a quirk your partner has that you find endearing?
What is your favorite memory with your partner this past year?
What could you do today to make your partner happier?
Describe a past good deed from your partner that meant a lot.
What do you think is your partner’s best quality?
Reminisce about a favorite date you’ve had with your partner.
Share your favorite picture of your partner and why its your favorite.
Describe a few times you and your partner deep belly laughed together.
Name a time when your partner was there for you when you really needed it
What is your favorite physical feature of your partner?
Describe a time when you were really impressed with your partner.
What was it that initially attracted you to your partner?
Name a favorite memory from your wedding day. Or if you are not married, the day you decided to be together.
Reminisce about the first time you said, “I love you.”
What was something your partner did this week that you appreciated?

I’m SO excited for you guys to fill out these love note prompts! I’m confident even the act of filling them out will fill YOUR love tank. And giving them will fill your partner’s. Full love tanks all around!

November 23, 2017

Three Ways to Make Gratitude a Regular Practice in Your Marriage

“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” – David Steindl-Rast

I fully believe that quote. We often think that we have to WAIT to be grateful until life is good, but it’s actually gratitude that makes life good.

Time and time again researchers have found that people who report consistent happiness and life satisfaction are the most grateful.

I really think its the same in marriage. I think the happiest marriages are the most grateful. One study asked married couples to keep a daily gratitude journal for each other and at the end of a few weeks, each couple expressed feeling increased support, intimacy and marital satisfaction.

It is service month on the blog, and sincere gratitude is one of the best ways to serve your spouse.

While I know and believe this, I’ve often struggled with HOW exactly to feel grateful, particularly when I’m bugged or stressed or sleepy or overwhelmed or sad or angry or hungry.

So, all the time.

Do I mentally count my blessings? Do I say thank you more? Does being grateful mean I have to be happy and cheery? Ignore what is bothering me? What if I don’t feel like it? Can I still be in a bad mood AND be grateful? How do I accomplish this elusive attitude of gratitude with it’s mystical joyous powers?

Brene Brown (my research hero and personal hero) has reported that in her research of over 1000 people, she has found that wholehearted people, joyful people, and grateful people go beyond mere mindsets of gratitude to actual gratitude PRACTICES. Regular, tangible gratitude rituals. She says,

“In 12 years of research, in all that time, I have never interviewed a person who describes themselves as joyful who did not actively practice gratitude. . . . Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives and when I say practice I don’t mean merely an attitude of gratitude or feeling grateful, I mean practicing gratitude. These folks shared in common a TANGIBLE gratitude practice.” -Brene Brown

Oh Brene, how wise you are.

With that in mind, we need ourselves some tangible gratitude practices! Here are 3 ideas:

Gratitude Practices for Marriage:

1 Marriage Gratitude Journal

This is something I started when we first got married as a present to Rich. For a year, everyday I would write a reason I was grateful for him, then on our anniversary I put each statement on its own little strip of paper, folded all of them up and put them in a box.

He LOVED it. So I do it every year now. Takes the surprise out of what he gets for his present each anniversary, but giving him this present and reading through it with him has made for some of the sweetest moments of our marriage.

Now to simplify my life, I no longer write each sentence on little strips of paper, but rather I buy one of those little planners from the Target $1 section and write my daily appreciation in that. It takes about one minute each day before I go to bed and has not only provided the best anniversary present ever, but does a lot for my own heart to stop and remember why specifically I’m grateful for Rich each day.

2 A Shared Thank You Notebook

A few weeks ago I heard Tammy Greene, a fellow marriage blogger who blogs at Married and Naked present about how her marriage has gone from near-divorce to thriving.

One of her most powerful tools she mentioned was the power of daily gratitude. To facilitate this, she got a notebook that she kept in their bathroom and both her and her husband committed to writing a thank you note to each other each day in the notebook.

This was several years ago, but they’ve kept the habit up.

As she gets ready for bed each night, she writes a little thank you note and in the morning, she reads what her husband wrote about her.

What a great idea! You don’t have to talk about it, you don’t have to carve out hardly any time and you get that little boost of love both given and received every single day. I love it.

I think with a daily gratitude practice, you could just as easily write a post-it note or do a daily text or email, but that can be hard to remember. I love the idea of a physical journal that always stays in the same place, acting as a physical reminder to appreciate your spouse each day.

Tammy has since created a handy journal in which to accomplish this called The Ultimate Marriage Journal. It is only $15 and you can buy that here. On each page it says, “Thank you for . . .” with enough of these prompts to last for one year.

3 Weekly Appreciation Session

Each week, Rich and I hold a weekly marriage check in and to kick things off we always start with a compliment and appreciation session.

I’ve written so often about our weekly check in and many people have emailed me and said that it just doesn’t work for them. One or both partners dread the time to bring up hard stuff each week (the step after the appreciation step).

I’ve thought a lot about this, and I think this may be because the appreciation step is either neglected or passed through without much thought. When really, the gratitude and appreciation part of the weekly check in is probably the most important part.

Many weeks go by when we don’t talk about anything hard or ask each other for any favors, but we still get to pause, think through our weeks and sincerely express gratitude and appreciation for each other.

Often Rich will say similar things week to week- thanks for all you do for the kids, thanks for making dinner, thanks for cleaning, etc. Even though I may be expecting it, him saying it ALWAYS makes me feel noticed and appreciated. It’s how I get through the sometimes drudging monotonous tasks of being a stay-at-home mom. Feeling that your work for your family is noticed and appreciated makes the work SO much easier.

Warm fuzzies all around. Source: perpetuallysingle

Those are just three ideas. There are countless other things you can do with some research or creativity.

What do you guys do to stay grateful?

March 1, 2017March 1, 2017

February Love Experiment Recap: Words of Affirmation

What happens if you send a loving note or text full of words of affirmation to your spouse everyday for a month? Good things friends. Good things.

So we’re done with our February love experiment which to send a nice text, email or note to your spouse everyday. This challenge was based on Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages book, specifically the words of affirmation love language.

Time for a re-cap!

Confession- the first half of the month went WAY better than the second half. For the first half of the month I was doing the 14 Days of Love Letters challenge and filled out one prompt each day for my nice note. This went GREAT! My love tank was full to the brim as I reminisced over fond memories and remembered each day why I love Rich so much.

Also, Rich’s love language IS words of affirmation, so his love tank was overflowing as well!

Two free-flowing love tanks?!?!

That’s a recipe for a hap-hap-happy marriage my friends!

And then the second half of the month came and I learned something. I learned how crappy I am at sending sappy texts everyday. I sort of ran out of steam and my texts became mediocre at best.

via GIPHY

I know how you feel Michelle.

I learned I need some direction if I’m going to text everyday. So, if I could do it over again, I would have given myself more structure- like sending a text stating something I appreciated Rich doing for me everyday. Or even just stating one reason I love him everyday.

As it stood, I was trying to find different ways to say “I love you” without just saying I love you. I wish I would have turned to humor a lot more since that is more our style. I realized this while I was writing the post 40 Texts to Send Your Partner Right Now To Make Their Day (yes I see the irony of authoring this post given my confession of being a sub-par sappy text-er).

It occured to me that most of those prompts would feel awkward or forced unless it came with a silly gif or inside joke.

Its just how we roll.

In any case, even though I didn’t feel original the second half of the month, this is not to say the activity was useless.

Far from it.

I think the daily loving texts provided us with two main benefits:

1 It let us know that we’re on the same team even if one of us had a bad day.

Many times when one of us has a bad day and we’re grumpy, we unintentionally take out those grumps on each other. Even if we are trying not to, the non-grumpy one will often misinterpret the grumpy one’s grumps as being mad AT THEM. Then they are put out and it can spiral into a whole thing and the grumps spread all around. So the loving text sent while Rich was at work set a great tone for when he came home.

AND it gave us the freedom to be able to have a bad day and still know that we are on the same team. Too often I think we feel we have to stifle our bad days in order to appease the other one, but if you know that you’re together, you’re on the same team, then you can release your negative emotions without affecting the other one because you are both clear it is not directed at them.

2 Helped balance out our positive to negative interactions.

It really helped out our ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions, which marriage expert John Gottman says is the key to a successful relationship. Often when I only send “business” type texts, I interpret them as neutral interactions, but I think they are negative interactions to Rich, so sending those loving texts really helped to keep our interactions clearly on the positive side of things.

Those were two benefits that affected both of us, but I have to say for me one of the best outcomes was my own deep appreciation for Rich. I’ve felt almost unprecedented levels of gratitude for Rich this month. I think answering those prompts really allowed me to realize- Man, I am so grateful for this guy! He’s pretty awesome! It allowed me to keep his best attributes in the spotlight instead of his faults. And in marriage, keeping your spouse’s faults out of the spotlight is the name of the game.

Science backs this gratitude thing up. In fact, in a recent study from the University of Pennsylvania, they tested various positive psychology interventions (positive self talk, healthy habits, etc) for a number of weeks and tested their subjects happiness scores at the end of each week. One week they were assigned to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone in their life and participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in their happiness scores! The impact was greater than that from any other intervention! With the effects lasting as long as a month!

Love letters man- it’s powerful stuff.

Words of affirmation love experiment summary:

Thus concludes our words of affirmation love experiment- join us in April for our quality time love experiment: the 10 minute daily connect.

February 23, 2017March 1, 2019

40 Loving Texts to Send Right Now To Make Your Spouse’s Day

Sample loving texts to make your spouse smile, including thinking of you texts, sappy texts, intimate texts, apology texts and humorous texts.

I’ve been trying to text something nice to my husband everyday this month since that is our love experiment of the month.

And I gotta say . . . . its getting hard to come up with original material! This has nothing to do with my husband’s boundless awesomeness and everything to do with my lame, directionless texting.

So, just some advice before we dig into sample texts, I would say if you want to give your relationship a little boost by way of text messages for say a week or a month, I would really recommend having a theme or some prompts to work with. For example, tell them something you appreciate about them everyday or something you were grateful that they did for you. Or you could send a fun memory you had together everyday.

Filling out our 14 love letter prompts was VERY helpful at the beginning of the month (my lame texts problem started after that was over). If you’re looking for even MORE prompts, try our 14 Days of Remembering to Love prompts from last year or our 42 love letter prompts. (you would think with so many prompts I would have such a problem with un-creative texts).

Now if you want to just send a one-time loving text, I’ll include some of the following ideas to get your mind rolling. I find it best to start with something like:

“Hey babe [or your choice of pet name], I’ve just been thinking about you and . . . [insert loving text]”

Loving Text Prompts:

Thinking of You:

Having one of those days and gosh, I’m so glad you’re in my life.

Hey there handsome/beautiful [insert business item here]

No matter how you feel about yourself today, remember there’s AT LEAST one person who thinks youare the most competent, awesome, amazing person in the world.

What can I do to make your day or night easier? Really, I want to help.

I’ve been thinking about you all day

I can’t wait to see you.

Miss your face.

I loved spending time together this morning/last night.

So proud of you for working so hard babe.

Wish you were here with me right now.

Thinking about you and its making me smile.

Just makin your favorite dinner over here.

How’s that project going at work today? Hope you’re having a good day!

Sappy:

I just got a huge wave of love for you.

I don’t say it enough, but I hope you know how much I appreciate you.

I love it when you _____

Guess what???? [what?] I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.

I can’t imagine my life without you.

I really admire your ability to _____ That is so important to me and you are awesome at it.

Just thinking about [our first date/first kiss/wedding/etc]. I love that memory- I’d do it all over again!

Remember that time when we ______? Gosh I love you.

Just wanted to hit the pause button today to tell you how grateful I am to be your spouse.

Today’s been meh so far, I just want to snuggle with you.

Thanks for always believing in me.

I love our life together.

Intimate:

(Maybe I wasn’t clear in the bold title, but these mean sexy times texts- or anticipating sexy times. These are really excellent texts to send your spouse in the middle of the day and your message can be totally clear just by using the ever-helpful winky emoticon. And then maybe add a kiss-blowing/winky emoji just to keep your intentions crystal clear.)

You + me tonight?? 😉

Last night was AMAZING! Let’s do that again. 😉

Let’s make tonight all about you 😉

Let’s have some fun tonight 😉 Wink, wink.

You earned a massage when you get home tonight. 😉

You were lookin’ good this morning 🙂

Apology/Rough Days:

I’m sorry, you were right.

Sorry I was weird last night, can we start over? Let me make it up to you tonight.

I know I don’t always do things right, but I’m trying because I love you. I will always keep trying. Thanks for being patient with me.

Sorry your work sucks- I so appreciate all you do for our family even when I don’t say it enough!

Sorry you’re having a rough day. Back massage tonight?

Humorous:

(Me again): Humor is such a great go-to for texts because it’s flirty and fun. This section however, was short and sad, so I asked the Marriage Laboratory Facebook page for some ideas of what they text when they want to make their spouse laugh and they had some GREAT suggestions including: inside jokes, GIFS, funny things your kids do/say, funny youtube videos, and poop emojis (we like to keep it classy). These are all much better ideas than the examples below, so you should try one of those ideas first, but if you need a little guidance, here ya go:

Still laughing about what you said last night . . .

I’m prepping my arms for a long, warm embrace when you get home. I suggest you do the same. Otherwise it will be lopsided. Don’t ruin this for me.

Gosh, stop making me think about you. I’m busy!

Guess what???? [what?] Chicken butt. Just kidding, I love you.

If those fail (I mean I can’t imagine the chicken butt gig EVER failing, but just in case), just send them this GIF of a baby trying to drink a shake through a window:

Happy texting!

Edit: I wrote this post a year ago and in the past year, I’ve noticed more and more of mine and Rich’s texts tend to involve GIFS. (I mean why type something out when the thought you’re trying to convey has already been embodied in a 5-second video clip??) I think a well-placed GIF can give even the most mundane text some pizzazz. And those already-pizzazzy texts? Well, it can take them to the next level.

So, I’ve gone through the effort of compiling our favorite GIFS for each of the text categories in this post (thinking of you, sappy, intimate, humorous) and putting them into this little freebie here. If you want the list of our favorite GIFS, just type your email right down there and the GIF compilation will appear in your inbox like magic!

If you like this post, sign up for our monthly emails- sure to give you that extra kick to keep your marriage fresh and healthy 🙂 (don’t worry, I don’t bite. Or worse try to sell you things):

Or if Instagram is your thang, I’m there dishing out relationship inspo errrryday. Check it.

January 27, 2017March 13, 2018

14 Days of Love Letters

Introducing our love experiment for the month as well as our 14 days of love letters challenge.

Alright, it’s time to introduce our Marriage Laboratory Experiment of the Month (MLEM if you like- you can remember it because it sounds like phlem).

This year all our experiments are based on Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages book and February will be all about . .. . . .

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!

Here’s the experiment explained scientific method style:

Problem:

We feel disconnected from our spouses when we forget to make an effort to connect.
Studies have shown our positive to negative interactions should be at a ratio of 5:1 for a healthy relationship, and we need a way to ensure we keep the ratio on the positive side.
Our spouses feel unloved when we forget to show we appreciate them.

Experiment Method: Send our partner a nice text or email or note every day.

Materials needed:

a phone or computer or pen and paper.
grateful heart

Hypothesis:

Our spouses love tanks will be fuller as they feel more noticed, loved and appreciated
We will notice more of the positive things our partner’s do instead of focusing on the negative

If you want to join along in our experiment, grab our FREE PDF of these prompts with space for you to fill out the answers at the bottom of this post.

Or I would love it if you joined in the experiment and let us know how its going on our Facebook page!

Also, as part of the words of affirmation challenge, I will be posting everyday for the first 14 days of February (until Valentine’s day) answering one of these love letter prompts:

When did you first know they were the one for you? How?
What is a skill they’ve developed this year they should be proud of?
What makes your partner different from anyone else in the world?
When was a time they made you blush? (in a good way)
Tell how they make you feel good about yourself (be specific).
What is something your partner does that you think is sexy?
When is a time you were very proud to be married to your partner?
What have they helped you accept about yourself? How?
What are a few little things they do that just make you smile?
Describe a date you’ve been on together when you had a lot of fun.
If you could go back in time to a down-on-their-luck young version of your partner, what would you tell them about how awesome they turn out?
What is a quirk your partner has that you find endearing?
What is your favorite memory with your partner this past year?
What one thing could you do today to make your partner happier?

These would make for great prompts for your daily text/email/note, OR the compilation of these love letters would make for a GREAT Valentine’s gift!

We did the same thing last February with different prompts and great success. Filling out love letter prompts everyday filled me with all sorts of butterflies and mush.

If you want the free printable PDF of these prompts- it looks like this with one prompt per page:

Grab it here:

Category Archives: Words of Affirmation