My dear Wormwood, I’m delighted to hear how well it’s going with your subject- this young mother of yours. Although, I must admit, you mentioned something in your last letter that I believe demands more of your attention. You mentioned she joined a tennis group? This may seem like a little thing, but it very well may be a doorway into her prioritizing her own needs, which we cannot permit. The good news is, the motherhood department here has been working tirelessly for decades building a cage for mothers- a cage made of their own guilt. Guilt will be the… Read More

A few years ago, on some of my readers’ recommendations, I read the book “How to Not Hate Your Husband After Kids.” I mostly read it to review on my blog (and was ready to make it clear to anyone that who saw me reading the book that I do not in fact hate my husband). I never did write that review. Why? Because I kind of hated that book at the time. Actually I despised it. It brought up VERY uncomfy truths. Truths that I tried to stuff way down in the dark so I wouldn’t have to confront… Read More

In the past six years of blogging, I’ve learned a little secret of how to get people to care about whatever marriage principle I’m writing about: Include some benefit for their kids. I’ve learned when I say things like, “Hey, studies have shown that the strength of your closest relationship does more to predict your life expectancy than your health, air quality or income.” People say, “Oh interesting.” But when I say, “Hey, studies have shown that the stronger your marriage, the happier and more stable your kids turn out.” People say, “WHAT?!?! HOW CAN WE STRENGTHEN OUR MARRIAGE?!?!” By… Read More

Do you want to hear about something I was so epicly wrong about that I’ll never get over it?? I was wrong about anger. I used to think I was morally superior to people because I never got angry. When people in my life or online would be angry I would skip along my merry way preaching “Always accept. Always forgive. Never be angry.” La la la la la It was nice and cozy in my happy little bubble of anger suppression. I used to delete social media and news apps whenever heated things were happening (cough, cough election season).… Read More

We’ve talked about defining our individual core values, we’ve talked about how helpful it is to understand our partner’s core values (understand their values and you’ll understand their behavior). Now, I want to talk about a crucial category of values that often get overlooked, our CULTURAL values. We all have different ones. They could come from a family culture, religious culture, ethnic culture, national culture, political culture or societal culture. The core values of your most prominent cultures during your upbringing are the ones most likely still dictating a lot of your unconscious behavior and opinions today. I’ve been doing… Read More