“But when the pain cuts deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy.”
“But when the pain cuts you deep, When the night keeps you from sleeping, Just look and you will see, That I will be your remedy”
So sings Adele in her hit song “Remedy.”
This is a beautiful, romantic notion.
It is also laden with unhealthy expectations.
Can we really be someone else’s remedy? Can we be the solution to someone else’s pain? What happens when we expect someone else to take away our pain? What happens when we expect to be able to take away someone else’s?
These are just a few of the questions explored in this week’s Marriage Theraoke episode.
(answer key= No. No. Disappointment. Disappointment)
We are thrilled that Rachel Neilson from the 3 in 30 podcast is on this week talking about what we can and can’t expect of ourselves when our partner is in pain, as well as what we can and can’t expect of our partner when we are in pain.
It is an excellent conversation with excellent takeaways.
And of course, an EXCELLENT healthier karaoke version of the song written and performed by Rich 🙂
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Rachel’s guest post “My Best Marriage Advice After 10 Years of Marriage“
Rich’s re-written lyrics
“I remember all of the things that I thought it was my job to do
So desperate to take on myself things that you were suffering through
Back before I tried to see
My role is not to be a shield It ain’t easy what you’re feeling
But I can’t make you not feel
When the pain cuts you deep I realize the hurt that you’re keeping
I’ll cushion you softly
But I can’t be your remedy
When the world is hard for you
And your feelings bleed out on me too I’ll sit with you freely
But separately, what you have from me is empathy
Seem unfeeling, to openly say that there’s things I can’t do for you
Not a question of how much I love you or understand what you’re going through
But love, has things it can’t do
Take your pain or help you self sooth
But-I’ll-be-there with you..
When pain cuts you deep I realize the hurt that your keeping
But it’s best if you can see
That I can’t be your remedy
When you just can’t understand
I’ll sit there and just hold your hand
I’ll be a soft place to land
Eternally, what you’ll have from me is empathy -oh-oh- oh”
The Diva herself singing “Remedy”