Once upon a time, a much younger Rich and Celeste met on a ballroom dance company, fell in love, married and naturally decided it would be a really good idea to become competitive ballroom dance partners.
Friends and family warned against this since historically, it is known to be extremely difficult to be competitive partners with your spouse (ya know, without ripping each other’s heads off every practice). But, pssssshhhh, clearly these people underestimated the extent of our love, selflessness and easy-going natures . . .
Nope. They were right.
We lasted ONE competition, and this period was one of the most difficult of our 10 year marriage. Mostly because, we could not accept constructive criticism from each other. We would become defensive, walk away, silent treatment and brood over the other’s tenacity at suggesting we needed more tone here, a stronger lead there and could you not keep getting me off balance please?
This week on the podcast, we’ve got a treat for you my friends! We have interviewed Kyle and Allie Spinder, one of the top professional American Smooth ballroom couples in the country. Who are also married. They’ve danced competitively together almost their entire nine year marriage.
I’m in awe of that.
They are sharing with us how they work TOGETHER even when they disagree or have hard days, and how they offer each other feedback without it ruining their relationship.
As always, Rich and I kick things off by offering some therapy to a love song. This week in the hot seat is “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon. Rich’s karaoke re-write turns this girl-meets-boy song into a song about a professional ballroom couple. It’s amazing.
Enjoy!
Show Notes:
video of Kyle and Allie dancing:
Rich’s revised lyrics:
You know I’ve got your back
Because it’s you and me
But here’s the cold-hard fact
It’s hard to dance professionally
With-the-person you love romantic’ly
But you say “ooooooo you SHOULD come dance with me….”
Spoken (fast): It’s tough navigating a romantic AND working relationship. How do you do it?
We’re a professional ballroom team
A glamorous amorous dancing dream
24/7 just my wife and me
(space) And weeeeee always are together, never not together
But I’m alarmed
I don’t know how this happened
She looked at me and she saaaaaaid
“Don’t you dare do that”
I say “You just stepped on me”
And then we both just snap
And say “Shut up and dance with me.”
This never really helps you see
To say “oooooo shut up and dance with me”
It was tactless yes, talking heatedly
It’s easy to take things too pers’naly
We felt in in our chests, my face went red and we
Both knew there was bound to be some tension, gotta cut the tension
We took a break
Right then is when it happened
We took a breath and we said
Oh can I take that back
You mean so much to me
Let’s both get back on track
And could you please come dance with me
This time we’ll talk more carefully
She said doooooooo you still WANT to dance with me
You know it girl!!
Deep in it now,
I think we see a future
Not criticize
But work on our craft
We were disarmed
Communicate much better
Then-we-did before and we saaaaaay
“Oh could you please try that”
“Thanks for list’ning to me”
“How can I help you back”
“I love it that you dance with me”
(Fast) The-relationship is our priority
We say ooooooo it’s more important than dance!
You know I’ve got your back
Because it’s you and me
And now here is the fact
I hope that you will dance with me.
We’ll communicate and and talk more carefully
And could yoooooou, just please come dance with me
yoooooou, just please come dance with me
ooooooo i love it when you dance with me
Shut Up and Dance With Me Music Video: