26 Ways to Make Your Spouse Happy

This month is all about service here at Marriage Laboratory and last week I wrote about perhaps the best tip I have for how to serve your spouse and get your marriage out of a rut- focusing all your energy, conversations and interactions with your spouse on making them HAPPY for one week.

I call it happy week and it has pulled my marriage and my heart out of many ruts through the years.

It will make your spouse happy, it will make you happy. Let’s spread some happiness. [source: Tenor]
If you are in need of some more specific ideas, today I wanted to provide you with some dear reader. I’ve done something similar in this post – 46 Ways to Make Your Spouse’s Day, but here I’m going to divide it by gender.

A disclaimer: I am a stay-at-home mom and my husband works- this list reflects our life stage at this point and the various services that we most appreciate. If this doesn’t reflect your life situation and thus the list wouldn’t be of the most service to your spouse, modify it so it is. Mostly I hope to provide a jumping off point for you to consider your own list of things YOUR spouse would most appreciate.

Ways to Make Your Partner Happy both for him and for her

Here are some services we’ve appreciated the most:

For him:

  1. Notice how hard he works for your family and sincerely express your appreciation.
  2. Initiate sex.
  3. Take over some of his normal household duties.
  4. Give him some time to unwind right after he comes home- guilt-free.
  5. Make his favorite dinner.
  6. Set up a guys night with some friends.
  7. Plan a fun date night doing something you know he’d love.
  8. Put some energy into planning a special night of intimacy.
  9. If there is a chore you know he hates (mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc) do it for him.
  10. Put a show on for the kids at night so you have some alone time to talk and relax together.
  11. Let go of something you’ve been nagging him to do and do it yourself (change the oil? fix the sink? YouTube is amazing- you can learn all sorts of new skills 🙂
  12. Write him a love note, email, or text.

 

For her:

  1. WATCH THE KIDS!  (Ha- I was writing out things I appreciated the most since I have 3 young kids at home- 90% of them involved a break from the kids . . . I love my kids, but I cannot overstate how much a stay-at-home mom of young kids will appreciate time to herself 😉 )
    1. Watch the kids so she can have a bath.
    2. Watch the kids so she can go to a coffee shop and read.
    3. Watch the kids so she can clean uninterrupted.
    4. Watch the kids so she can go out with her friends.
    5. Watch the kids so she can work on a project.
  2. Offer to take care of dinner.
  3. Clean the house.
  4. Do that thing she’s been nagging you to do :).
  5. Plan a date night you know she’ll love.
  6. Dedicate some one-on-one time with each kid (your wife probably feels occasionally like she’s failing in this area, so seeing her partner fill in can be a really lovely gesture).
  7. Ask her about her feelings, emotional and mental state, what she’s struggling with, what’s been making her happy, what projects she’s been working toward, etc and then listen intently.
  8. Write him a love note, email, or text.

 

Alright, hopefully those are enough to get the gears turning in your head.

Our love experiment for this month is to 1. Ask your spouse what you can do to serve them each week and 2. Do everything asked of you.

But even if they can’t think of anything or ask for something very simple, fill their love tanks with extra acts of service from this list or a list you create yourself based on your spouses needs and wants.

It’s service month, so let’s get busy!

The Best Way to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut

Marriage in a rut? Here's the best trick I've found to get out of it. Click through to read more.

When our marriage is in a rut, we’re often blind to any part we may play in said rut. I propose dedicating one week to the task of making your spouse happy. When I first started the blog, I thought, “Ok, I have two good pieces of marriage advice- that’s it . . . This could be a problem.” The first was companionship inventory- or the weekly marriage check in, which became my first real post. And the second, something I call happy week, I haven’t even written about yet! Three years I’ve been sitting on this! That ends today.… Read More

Service Love Language Challenge!

service love language

Introducing our love experiment for the month- asking your spouse what you can do for them every week and doing every favor asked of you. Alright, it is November and that means its time to introduce our Marriage Laboratory Experiment of the Month (MLEM if you like- you can remember it because it sounds like phlem)! This year all our experiments are based on Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages book and November will be all about . .. . . . SERVICE! Guys, this is our last love language experiment!  Our fifth one. Can you believe it? I think this… Read More

YOUR Sex Questions Answered (by a sex therapist) Part II

How to have conversations about sex | your questions answered by a sex therapist

In preparation for this post, I asked you what you, my readers, are struggling with regarding sex, and passed those struggles along to Aimee Heffernan. Read Part I of her answers here. Aimee, who is a licensed couples therapist and sex therapist who lives and works in Washington, was kind enough to answer a number of your questions last year (Part One and Part Two). In preparation for our interview, I sent her a list of your concerns to review. Right away we noticed some themes and will be talking about those themes instead of answering question by question. How… Read More

6 Resources for Spicing Up Your Marriage in the Bedroom

Spicing up your marriage in the bedroom. If we want to improve, new information is crucial- check these resources out.

If we want to spice up our marriage in the bedroom, gaining new information is crucial! Whether its changing damaging mindsets that are holding you back or just getting some new tools and ideas to change things up- knowledge is power! These are all resources that have helped us. In a recent post, I mentioned four sex books I’ve read and recommended. I’ve gotten a lot of emails and questions about these, so I thought I’d offer more information on those as well as including a few more resources we’ve found helpful. 31 Days to Great Sex Are you sick… Read More