Episode 7: Over Accommodating (“Back for Good”) Show Notes

Being a jerkface in your marriage is a clear no-no, but how about being overly accommodating?

Slightly less so, however, if done with regularity, consistent OVER accommodation becomes a problem, namely we don’t own up to our desires and often become resentful.

This week, we give therapy to the song “Back for Good” by Take That as we discuss the “I’ll do anything for you” mentality.

As always, Rich sings his version of this song into more healthy (slightly less desperate) waters.



Here are Rich’s much improved lyrics:

I guess, now it’s time. For bringing this up,
Thing aren’t fine

Got a history of being a door mat
Feels like footprint mark still on my back and butt
(Not really – that’s a metaphor)

Got an issue with emotions
Conflict’s really not my scene

But I believe that, I’m gonna tell you how I feel now

Whatever I said, whatever I did
I don’t want that, that’s not good
(that’s not good, that’s not good)

I’ll tell you what’s up
I’m not puffing up
Hope will see that
I will be more understood
(Understood, understood)

I WANT to be under stood…

Unaware, for a long time
I figured out what my need are
To help me feel good…

I’ve thought through this in my mind
(in my mind)
And I am sure my desires…
Come. from. the. best. in. me.

There’ll be a bit of accommodation
It-may-be hard, but can’t you see
You will find
This will be
Good for both you and meeeee

Whatever I say, whatever I did’s
I don’t want that, that’s not good
(that’s not good, that’s not good)

I’ll tell you what’s up
I’m not puffing up
Hope will see that
I will be more understood
(Understood, understood)

I’ll just leave this right here:


Episode 6: Empathy and Friendship (“Stand by You” “You’re My Best Friend”) Show Notes

Guess what? Not all love songs have bad advice! (I know, shocking!) In effort to praise songs with good advice (and in an attempt to not be the world’s greatest kill joys), we present our first episode called “The Good Ones.” We separately selected songs they thought had great relationship advice and then present them on the show. I chose “Stand by You” by Rachel Platten (not to be confused with “I’ll Stand By You” . . . you’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head now) because I think it offers a great example of what empathy is… Read More

Growth Means Getting Comfortable with Discomfort. Here’s How.

Getting Comfortable with Discomfort. It's so necessary to tolerate anxiety for growth. Click through to read three ways to do that.

About five years ago, I set a goal that was so far out of my comfort zone, I had NO idea whether or not I could actually accomplish it: to run a half marathon. Guys, I am NOT athletic. I never have been. I discovered this early on in elementary school when we would play Sneaky Pete where you have a scarf tucked into the back of your pants and everyone runs around trying to grab each other’s scarves and the last man standing wins. I would try to get out early every single time because I just couldn’t run… Read More

Learn to Embrace Discomfort (a better marriage is waiting on the other side)

Embrace Discomfort. Click through to read why and how this is the key to a great relationship.

When I potty trained our oldest daughter, at first she was all for it. We had watched the potty princess video, we had read the “Once Upon a Potty” book. She understood potty training to be a next step to becoming a big girl (and noted how weirdly animated and excited mommy got about the whole issue) and was pretty stoked to start. via GIPHY She was all about it the first day. M&Ms just for performing a natural bodily function in a pot? Juice and crackers all day long?? Count me in! Then days two and three hit and… Read More

Episode 5: Weekly Marriage Check In (“Say Something”) Featuring Shelly and Jershon Lopez Show Notes

How do you bring up hard conversations with your spouse? How can you prevent huge blow ups over miscommunications? How can you nip your problems in the bud before they become big problems? Three words: Weekly Marriage Check-In (or is that four words???). Hold a safe and consistent time and place each week for both gratitude and hard conversations. This will help with SO many communication problems.  Rich and I are going to detail how we do this and how it has helped us in this week’s podcast. In this episode, we are giving some therapy to the song “Say… Read More