Episode 14: Who’s Responsible for Your Pain? (“Remedy”) Featuring Rachel Neilson

Responsibility for Pain podcast

“But when the pain cuts deep

When the night keeps you from sleeping

Just look and you will see

That I will be your remedy.”

 

“But when the pain cuts you deep, When the night keeps you from sleeping, Just look and you will see, That I will be your remedy”

So sings Adele in her hit song “Remedy.”

This is a beautiful, romantic notion.

It is also laden with unhealthy expectations.

Can we really be someone else’s remedy? Can we be the solution to someone else’s pain? What happens when we expect someone else to take away our pain? What happens when we expect to be able to take away someone else’s?

These are just a few of the questions explored in this week’s Marriage Theraoke episode. 

(answer key= No. No. Disappointment. Disappointment)

We are thrilled that Rachel Neilson from the 3 in 30 podcast is on this week talking about what we can and can’t expect of ourselves when our partner is in pain, as well as what we can and can’t expect of our partner when we are in pain. 

It is an excellent conversation with excellent takeaways. 

And of course, an EXCELLENT healthier karaoke version of the song written and performed by Rich 🙂

Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Rachel’s podcast website

Rachel’s workshop info

Follow the 3 in 30 Instagram account!

Rachel’s guest post “My Best Marriage Advice After 10 Years of Marriage

Rachel’s guest post about strengthening your marriage during infertility

Brene Brown’s interview about faith

 

Rich’s re-written lyrics

“I remember all of the things that I thought it was my job to do
So desperate to take on myself things that you were suffering through
Back before I tried to see
My role is not to be a shield It ain’t easy what you’re feeling
But I can’t make you not feel

When the pain cuts you deep I realize the hurt that you’re keeping
I’ll cushion you softly
But I can’t be your remedy
When the world is hard for you
And your feelings bleed out on me too I’ll sit with you freely
But separately, what you have from me is empathy

Seem unfeeling, to openly say that there’s things I can’t do for you
Not a question of how much I love you or understand what you’re going through
But love, has things it can’t do
Take your pain or help you self sooth
But-I’ll-be-there with you..

When pain cuts you deep I realize the hurt that your keeping
But it’s best if you can see
That I can’t be your remedy
When you just can’t understand
I’ll sit there and just hold your hand
I’ll be a soft place to land
Eternally, what you’ll have from me is empathy -oh-oh- oh”

The Diva herself singing “Remedy”

 

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