Episode 19: High Desire Partner (“I Want You to Want Me”) Featuring Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Jennifer Finlayson-Fife podcast

Every aspect of marriage has a high desire partner and a low desire partner. Whether it is how clean the house is, how strict the budget is or how often you have sex, one partner will desire those things more than the other.

This Valentine’s week, we are focusing on the high desire partner in a sexual relationship. This can be a tricky position to be in because you can feel very stuck and powerless to improve your situation. Manipulating, coercing, and pressuring may get you what you want in the short term, but have lots of negative consequences in a relationship. What’s left then?

Thankfully, we have an expert on the show, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife navigate the Dos and Don’ts of being the high desire partner.

Rich and Celeste offer some therapy to the song “I Want You to Want Me” orginally by Cheap Trick, covered by Letters to Cleo. And you’re not going to want to miss Rich’s high falutin healthier re-make of the song!

Show Notes

Jennifer’s Online Courses found here are all 20% off for Valentine’s Day!

Her courses include a couples’ relationship course (which I highly recommend!), a couples’ sexuality course, a woman’s sexuality course and a course on how to talk to your kids about sex. They are all fantastic and come with a year’s worth of office hours where you can have personal access to Jennifer and her wisdom.

Rich’s re-written lyrics

I want you to want me
But need ME to deal with me
I’d love for you to love me
But that’s cuz I want you to accept me

I want you to want me
(go high) That’s what we all want naturally
But of course you have autonomy

Ask good questions of you
But gonna question myself first
Put in emotional work
Because I really love you…

True that I, true that I, true that I’m high desirin’
Doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean I can leave you cryin’
Being with you intimately, I wanna keep on trying
And manage my, manage my, manage my high desirin’

I want you to want me
And be connected physically
Let’s talk about it openly
And work on this thing mutually

Trying connecting with you
Validate my feelings first
Do things we both hope will work
To create something really lovely

True that I, true that I, true that I’m high desirin’
Doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean I can leave you cryin’
Being with you intimately, I wanna keep on trying
While acknowleging’, acknowledging, acknowleging my high desirin’

 

Episode 18: The Drama Triangle (“Fix You”) Featuring Tammy Jones and Debbie Reid

Drama Triangle podcast

Do you ever find yourself reacting to your partner in a moment of strong emotion? Obviously, yes – this happens to all of us. But you may not know that, in situations like that, you may find yourself unwittingly in the middle of Karpman’s Drama Triangle! What is that you ask? It’s a way of looking at negative roles we can embody during strong, negative interactions (“drama”). The Drama Triangle roles include being The Victim (“You/Everyone is doing this to me!”) The Persecutor (“Oh yeah? %*@#@ you!!”) or The Rescuer (“Let me fix you, because it’ll make ME feel better!”).… Read More

Episode 17: Narcissism (“You’re So Vain”) Featuring Tony Overbay

narcissism podcast

While everyone’s spouse is selfish from time to time, it can be a whole different ballgame to be married to someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. Clinical narcissism is characterized by a preoccupation with self, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, inability to confront faults, need for admiration, and objectifying others. What to do if this describes your spouse? I have no idea, but thankfully Tony Overbay does! As an Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he walks us through the dos and don’ts of being married to a narcissist. Tony has his own therapy podcast called The Virtual Couch and… Read More

Episode 16: New Years (“Good Morning” and “You Gotta Be”) Show Notes

New Years relationship podcast

“Baby, It’s a brand new day.” So sings Max Frost in his song, “Good Morning.” And so tells Celeste to herself everyday. The important thing to remember about new year’s resolutions is that when you mess up, tomorrow is a new day. You have the potential to start over everyday. Both on your goals and in your relationship. Our past selves need not define our future selves. In today’s good ones episode we highlight helpful goal advice in the songs “Good Morning” and “You Gotta Be” as Rich and Celeste dish out their best advice for keeping up with goals… Read More

Marriage Laboratory’s Best of 2018

Best of Marriage Laboratory 2018

2018 has been an AMAZING year here at Marriage Laboratory. Here are some highlights: We started our podcast, Marriage Theraoke!! We launched our podcast giving therapy to love songs in August, and Rich and I have loved the challenge as well as all the positive feedback you guys have given us- thanks! I finally joined the Instagram party (only 8 years late!) by starting the Marriage Laboratory instagram page. I now spend a lot of time there and this community has made me feel like I people actually read what I write and comment on it! We grew our email… Read More